


THE ONLY PERSON WHO LOVED MONTY

by CBWriter24



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CBWriter24/pseuds/CBWriter24
Summary: This story centers on Monty and Winston. Loved their chemistry in Season 3 of 13 Reasons Why, and my hope of Season 4 is that Monty is really alive and that Monty and Winston's relationship is explored more. I don't wanna spoil too much, but Monty and Winston will work together to bring everyone, but Jessica down for Bryce's murder.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how many chapters this will be, but I'll update regularly. Also, let's all cross our fingers there's more Monty and Winston in Season 4 (Monty and Winston fans should politely let Netflix know much there scenes are enjoyed)!!

CHAPTER 1

I shifted my posture while sitting on the wooden bench outside Monet’s. 

Somehow, I couldn’t go inside and order a hot chocolate. Everything seemed so insignificant after Monty died. Not because I needed a relationship to define me, but because he didn’t deserve to be alone and hopeless in his final moments. Even if the fear pulsing through my body in the parking lot after the Homecoming game was palpable. At first, I couldn’t get away from Monty fast enough. Yet something was different about our conversation that night before we hooked up at my house. The pain beaming from Monty’s eyes seemed real. Like something that couldn’t be faked. 

Someone coughed.

I lifted my gaze off the ground. Ani was in front of me while wind swooshed through the air, nipping my face. 

Ani sighed. “Mind if I sit, Winston?”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what you do.”

She sat next to me. Wow. What a person. Bad enough Ani and her gang of sociopaths framed Monty for a murder he didn’t commit. Chatting with me almost made me think that Ani thought our fake friendship was real. 

Please. As if. Some things were unforgivable no matter how much someone wished the opposite were true. 

And no. Caring about seeming hypocritical didn’t matter—Monty hadn’t killed someone in cold blood, which was something.

Ani pushed a lock of hair to the side. “I’ve been thinking about our last conversation.”

I didn’t even blink. “Really?”

“We shouldn’t have left it the way we did.”

“Everything I said was true.” My scarf bobbed in the wind. “Monty was a human being regardless of what you and your friends thought.”

“I don’t disagree.”

How kind of her. Someone should’ve given Ani a medal. Real decent behavior she displayed by chatting with me.

I couldn’t swallow the lump in my throat. “Excuse me?”  
“This might seem strange, but I’m the one person who understands what you’re going through.”

“How so?”

She averted her gaze. “I was in love with Bryce Walker—or at least I thought I was. I relished knowing a different side of him, a side nobody else saw.”

Ani was gonna have to try harder if she expected sympathy from me. I didn’t owe her anything, so if she expected an ego boost, then she should’ve gone to her mother or a friend. Not my job to prop her up. 

I scoffed. “What do you expect? Condolences for your loss? I’m not sorry Bryce died.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone. You could become friends with the gang.”

Ani might’ve been a lot of things, yet she couldn’t have said what she had. Even Ani couldn’t be clueless. This was real life, not a Disney movie. 

“I don’t attend your school,” I said.

“But you live close enough.”

I stood. “I should go to the police and tell them Monty had an alibi for the night Bryce died.”

Ani met my gaze. “What’s stopping you?”

I couldn’t deny one thing regardless of how fast my pulse drummed in my ears. The girl had guts. If I were her, then I wouldn’t have asked that question unless I was prepared for the answer. 

“Desecrating Monty’s memory would be cruel,” I said. “He didn’t want the world to know something about him, and I’ve gotta respect his wishes.”

Her mouth gaped. “You were in love with him, weren’t you?”

Way to ask a loaded question. This wasn’t Sex and the City, and I wasn’t gonna be her gay BFF. In fact, the only reason I hadn’t walked away was because I had nothing better to do. The wind howled even louder and faster than before, then clumps of snow fell off the tree branches. How ironic. Being a teenager entailed having my whole life ahead of me, yet more time with Monty was the one thing I didn’t have.

My cheeks burned. “I wouldn’t call it love.”

“There’s no shame in admitting you cared about Monty.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What are you trying to accomplish?”

“It’s called being a decent human being.”

What a rich response. If she cared about being honorable, then she wouldn’t have dragged Monty’s name through the mud. 

“You moved on from Bryce pretty fast,” I said.

“Okay. I deserved that.”

“Monty told me some things and I can guess some others.”

“Like what?” Ani asked. “Wait. Is that a threat?”

“Your friends are a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites—they drove Hannah to kill herself.”

Ani huffed out a sigh. “I know. But did you know what Monty did to Tyler?”

“Yes, and he was sorry about it. Tell me something, bitch.” I paused for a beat. Whether I was ready for my next comment didn’t matter. My thoughts needed to be said. Even if it was with one of the most despicable people in the world. “Why couldn’t Monty get the same chance at redemption Bryce got? Did Bryce even check in with his probation officer? How’d you feel if you had a drunk, physically abusive, homophobic father?”

“You’re right. Life isn’t fair.”

“No shit,” I spat.

Ani stuffed her hands into her coat pockets. “Why don’t we go inside and grab a drink?”

“I’m good.”

Ani snorted. “So, what? Gonna be miserable the rest of your life?”

“You know something, Ani, you’re right about one thing. My time with Monty meant something to me.”

A group of girls flocked by, giggling. Damn. How I would’ve given anything to turn back time and relive my interactions with Monty all over again. Especially the first time we slept together…

***

Monty and I continued lying in bed with the bed comforter around us after we slept together for the first time. More specifically, Monty just revealed he couldn’t be anything he wanted.

I chuckled. “Are you choking up?”  
“It’s not funny,” Monty whispered, looking away.

“Sorry. Wasn’t trying to be an asshole.”

Tears welled in his eyes, then he wiped his cheeks. “Fucking dry eyes.”

I snorted. “Don’t worry—your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone that you have a heart. Wouldn’t wanna damage your reputation.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“I’m teasing.”

“Like with your joke about asking if I was gonna beat the shit out of you?” Monty asked.

“Yeah.”

“I meant what I said in the parking lot when I apologized.”

I scooted forward. “Okay. But I have a question. What was with your contrition? Just hoping to sleep with some hot twink?”

His gaze narrowed. “Seriously?”

“I deserve an answer.”

Monty smirked. “Is your self-esteem so low you’d assume sex was all I wanted?”

“No. Just wondering if you couldn’t stop thinking about that night in the bedroom at that party.”

“Don’t be conceded,” he said.

“I’m impressed. Didn’t think you knew what that word meant.”

“I got a 700 on the critical reading portion of the SATs,” Monty said.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You weren’t the only person I spoke in the parking lot tonight.”

“Oh?” I asked.

“Nothing like that, so get your mind out of the gutter. Just someone who said I was a coward.”

“What changed?” I asked.

Monty sobbed. “I wanted the opportunity to be different. A chance to prove I’m not my father.”

“Cool.”

“That’s all you’ve gotta say?” Monty asked.

I wrinkled my nose. “How do you want me to respond?”

“I just don’t want this night to end.”

“Another question,” I said. “Were you hurt when you thought I was trying to kick you out?”

“Yes,” Monty mumbled.

I put my hand in front of my ear. “Sorry, but I can’t hear you.”

“Don’t be a dick. I would’ve been fuming if you kicked me out.”

Fuming. It was an interesting word, because my mind returned to that night last summer at the party when Monty beat the shit out of me. Monty’s anger wasn’t something I could ever witness again. Not now. Not ever. Not if I wanted a real chance with him. At least in the world where the closeted athlete fell for the quiet athlete, that was.

“What are you thinking about?” Monty continued.

“Nothing important.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Lucky to have my house to myself for the weekend.”

“Yeah, I’d give anything for that.”

“I have it to myself for at least 2 or the 3 weekends out of every month—that’s the advantage of having parents that care more about their careers than their only child.”

“Well, you always have me.”

“Thanks.”

“Sorry. Too forward?” Monty asked.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Monty and I remained silent while we continued staring at each other. Then, my throat constricted. Almost like when we locked eyes at that party last summer—both outside when Monty first arrived and then when I went to close the door. Because that was evidence of how a lot could be said without actually speaking. My heart never fluttered the way it had with other guys like it had with Monty.

“There’s something I’d like to know. If that’s okay, that is,” Monty said.

“Go ahead.”

“Why were you alone in the bedroom at the party?” 

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m not good at socialization.”

“Do people bully you at Hillcrest?”

I picked my nail. “Why would you ask that?”

“You just said you aren’t good with people.”

“Yes, people bully me at Hillcrest,” I stammered.

“Sorry to hear that.”

“But not for being gay—I’m a loser to most people.”

Monty cupped my chin, prickling my skin. “I don’t think you’re a loser.”

“You don’t have to say that because you slept with me.”

“Please let me know if someone gives you a hard time.”

“That’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I deserve to know,” Monty said.

I gripped the bed comforter tighter. “You don’t have to. I know you don’t wanna be associated with a faggot like me.”

Monty’s face drooped. “I said I was sorry.”

“And I believe you. But I’m not stupid.” I remained silent for a moment. “I know this will never be real.”

He didn’t respond.

“I’m not saying that to hurt you—I just know someone like you would never wanna be publicly seen with me.”  
Monty exhaled a breath. “We might not have forever, but we have tonight. And maybe even this weekend. Not like my father will care.”

“What are you saying?”

“Let’s stop talking.” Monty pulled me closer, then kissed in me in one, swift motion. 

I might not have been certain of much, yet I couldn’t deny one thing. I didn’t need drugs for my head to be spinning. Monty might not have been ready to go public, but every neuron in my body became electrified by Monty taking charge. Almost as if the action showed he cared.

Monty leaned into my left ear sometime later, our hands locked together. Then, his lips tickled my ear, earthly and sweet scent of whatever deodorant he used wafting through the air. “Ready for this?”

“Yes,” I said without wincing.

***

“You could answer my question,” Ani said, snapping me out of my digression. 

I folded my arms. “I don’t have to do anything, bitch. Because if you and your friends fuck with me one more time, then you’re gonna be sorry. I mean, you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves. I know Tyler was gonna shoot up the whole school the night of Spring Fling, but your friends covered for him. How astounding. Must feel great to play God with someone else’s life. Can’t imagine how your friends would feel if Tyler snapped and decided to shoot up the whole school again. Other people also treated Tyler like shit.”

“Don’t say I didn’t try.” Ani shuffled away from me, then entered Monet’s. The bell’s chiming echoed before the glass door slammed shut.

No apology necessary for my behavior with Ani. It wasn’t like I got violent with her. Nobody ever defended Monty when he was alive, but I’d stand up for him in death. Doing so was the least he deserved no matter how short our time together was. Maybe, just maybe, if I didn’t unpack our subsequent interactions between our first tryst and when he was arrested, then our “relationship” could last a little longer. I wasn’t a loser because I couldn’t say goodbye yet—I was only human. Even if people would’ve chastised me by mentioning that fucking Dr. Seuss quote about not crying because it was over but smiling because it happened. 

What bullshit. I wouldn’t shoot up Hillcrest or Liberty, but my anger would continue cultivating inside me. My fury made me strong, not toxic. I didn’t know how, but I’d avenge Monty’s death. I just had to.

Except I didn’t anticipate a black SUV parking by the sidewalk in front of me in addition to how the front passenger seat window rolled down, revealing a bald man with a pink streak under both of his eyelids. 

Ouch. I wouldn’t want to know how the man obtained those scars—not even if someone doubled my trust fund.

“Nice to meet you, Winston,” said the man.

“How do you know my name?”

“Relax. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“You aren’t?”

“The opposite, actually.” He sucked in a breath. “And you’re gonna wanna come with me because we don’t have much time.”

“You’re probably lying and want to kill me.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not. There are things you don’t know that could change everything.”

Whether I should’ve accepted a ride from a stranger or Monty’s death impaired my judgement didn’t matter. I was gonna pursue what I wanted for once in my life—my parents were out of town, and I didn’t have to check in with them till tomorrow night. Besides, it wasn’t like someone would’ve cared if someone hurt me. That was the advantage of being invisible.

***

I tapped my feet on the tile floor sometime later while my back ached from the couch. Life might’ve been a lot of things, but I hadn’t anticipated the guy driving the SUV to take me to a mansion on the outskirts of town.

I craned my neck. “What a surprise—you’re all talk and no action. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Be patient.”

“I’m leaving.” 

The man shoved me back down when I tried standing.

“What the hell?” I demanded.

“Wait.”

“You’re wasting my time.”

“I told you’d the punk would be impatient,” called out a voice.  
The shuffling of footsteps grew louder and louder after a side door slammed shut. Then, a guy stood in front of me. But the guy hovering over me couldn’t be here—good things didn’t happen to people like me. Nope. The universe always robbed me of my fleeting moments of happiness.

The younger guy’s eyebrows knitted together. “What? You don’t miss me?”

I blinked several times, yet the younger guy hadn’t disappeared. “This can’t be happening. Someone must’ve injected me with drugs.”

The older guy tilted his head towards the younger guy. “I’ll give you two some privacy, but you can’t leave.”

The younger guy nodded. “Fine.”

The older man exited the living room, leaving me alone with the younger guy. The universe must’ve been playing a joke on me, though. My jaw hadn’t stopped trembling from the identity of the guy standing by me.

I clapped my hands against my cheeks. “You’re really alive, Monty?”

“Does this feel fake to you?” Monty extended his arm, then wiped the tears from my eye. His touch even created brief static. How exciting. My turn to be vulnerable with Monty.

“How’s this possible?” I asked.

“Hope you got plenty of time, because this might take a while.” Monty cackled. “Although you better not have moved on.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“But first there’s something I need to do.” Monty opened his arms, inviting me in for a hug. 

I collapsed into his chest. He kissed my forehead, then continued rubbing my back. But I wouldn’t pout from not kissing his lips. The most intimate gestures were sometimes the ones that were the least sexual—Monty never hugged me before.

Maybe, just maybe, I was too cynical in the past. Life might not have perfect, but nothing was permanent, including my misery. Monty was alive, and that fact was all that mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty and Winston catchup, and Winston finds out out what happened to Monty.

CHAPTER 2

Monty was alive.

One sentence shouldn’t have impacted my life so much, yet it did. Somehow, the one thing I wanted most in the world came true. And for that, I owed the universe everything. For one—hopefully, not fleeting—moment I’d get everything I wanted.

The bedroom door clinked after Monty locked it, but I remained frozen. Millions of thoughts—like how Monty was alive shouldn’t have lingered on my mind, yet they did. I just needed answers, and didn’t know what I’d do if I didn’t get them.

He snickered. “Just gonna stand there? Or are we gonna fuck?”

I let out a faint laugh, more tears rolling down my cheeks. And I didn’t know if they were happy tears or sad tears. This moment had to last as long as possible, because the inner skeptic in me couldn’t be silenced forever. At some point, I’d have to return to the real world.

“I was joking,” Monty continued.

“I know,” I murmured.

Monty whipped his body around, then looped his arms around my shoulders. “Hey. You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“My life was so empty after I discovered you died.”

Monty’s gaze intensified. “What? A hot twink like you doesn’t have a regular lineup of guys waiting to have sex with him?”

I shrugged.

“Kidding again,” he said.

“I know, I know.”

“Did something happen to you while I was gone? I mean, besides the obvious?” 

“No. I just wanna understand what happened.”

“There’s plenty of time for that later.”

“I used my birthday wish for you to be alive.”

“Looks like you got lucky.” 

“You do know Clay, Ani, and their pals pinned Bryce’s murder on you, right?” I asked.  
Monty sighed. “I know.”

“I’m convinced one of them killed Bryce, and they’re all protecting each other.” I handed Monty my jacket and scarf, then he placed it on the mahogany dresser behind on us. 

“Probably.”

“Is the guy who brought me to you in the mafia?” 

His eyes bulged. “Shit. I can’t get anything by you.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t wanna tell me the truth,” I said. “I thought the time we spent together between homecoming and when you were arrested meant something to you. Was it all a lie?’

His lips curled. “Don’t be ridiculous. How can you ask that?”

“Tell me the truth.”

He squeezed my hands. “I will. But there’s something we should do first.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

Monty stood behind me, then extended his arms. After that, he massaged my neck and back before grazing my right ear with his lips. “I’m tired of talking and just wanna be with you. While we still have time.”

Most people might’ve been pissed about their “boyfriend” wanting sex over a real conversation. Yet rage hadn’t flared through me after Monty’s comment. If he wanted to bullshit me, he could’ve. But no. Ever since that night in the parking lot, Monty became a different person. So, I closed my eyes while Monty continued rubbing my back. 

“I never thought we’d get a second chance,” Monty said.

I stepped away from Monty, then I gave him a weak smile.

“My ‘death’ really did a number on you, didn’t it?” Monty asked.

“Yes,” I croaked. “I might not have been closeted like you, but you were the only person I could ever be real with. Minor bullying incidents aside, I was the kid most were nice to but nobody actually wanted to be friends with.”

Monty’s Adam apple throbbed. “Sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter.”  
“Tell me what you want?” Monty asked.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I matched Monty’s longing gaze with one of my own. Suddenly, life might as well have resembled that party last summer. The one where Monty and I almost set the room on fire from staring at each other before I locked the door. But unlike that night, Monty didn’t grip my shirt and make a fist. 

Monty’s hands traced the contours of my face while the smooth, cotton like texture of his lips remained pressed against my mouth while he even gave tongue. We pulled away after several more minutes before Monty lifted my shirt off my body. I did the same for him and we shed the rest of our clothes.

Monty leaned closer to my head sometime later, our fingers linked together while the bed comforter remained pulled over us. “Ready?” he asked.

What a gentleman. Monty might not have wanted the world to know he had a heart, but little details often revealed profound truths. Like with checking in with me before we proceeded any further.

His breathing grew heavier and heavier before he finally tilted his head. “Kiss?” he asked.

I kissed him, then we both rolled onto our backs.

“Holy shit!” Monty exclaimed.

I chuckled.

Monty moved closer to me. “Nice to see you laughing, but it better not be at my expensive.” 

“Holy shit was what you said the first time we hooked up. You know. Right before I asked if you were gonna beat the shit out of me.”

Monty shook his head. “You’re never gonna let that go?”

I sat up right in bed, back pressed against the bed board. “I’m teasing. It’s our thing. Remember?” 

“I want you to know that’s not who I am anymore. I wanna break the cycle of violence.”

“It was funny how you didn’t even have to think twice about coming back to my house after Homecoming.”

“Not like I had anything better to do,” Monty said.

I gave him a mock frown. “I’m flattered.”

Monty beamed his eyes. “You should be. You’re the first person I ever went all the way with.”

“Really?”

“Don’t act shocked. I’m only 17.”

“Relax. Nothing to be embarrassed by.” I collapsed onto his chest, but Monty didn’t push me away. Instead, he stroked my hair.

“There’s something you should know.”

“Oh?’

“The platinum blond makes me you even hotter—not that you need it. I knew I wanted to be with you from the second we made eye contact at that party.”

“I’m glad you approve of the new hair color,” I said. “Most people didn’t even have an opinion.”

“Were they silently judging you?” Monty asked. 

“I don’t know. I just needed something fresh, something for myself.”

“I get that.”

“You were the only thing I thought about in prison.”

“Really?” I asked.

“And I owe you an apology—I shouldn’t have turned you away those times you visited me in the prison before I ‘died.’ You deserved better.”

“That’s okay.” I moved away from Monty while my throat burned. Then, I dug my nails into the bed comforter. “Figured you didn’t want me to see you like that.”

“You don’t have to put on a façade. That must’ve hurt your feelings.”

“I learned to live with it like everything else.”

Monty patted my hand. “Please look at me.”

I cocked my head. “Happy?”

“You still came despite me pushing you away?”

“I didn’t have anything better to do.”

“There’s something you don’t know,” Monty said.

“And what’s that?”

“I was gonna come out to my father and leave home the day I was arrested.”

“Really?”

“But I ended up coming out to him in jail.”

“Do I even wanna know how that went?” I asked.

“I thought the day my father burned my wrist with a lighter was the worst day of my life, but I was wrong.” Monty sobbed. “My own fucking father spat in my face while visiting me in prison.”

“Shit.”

“My father caring about me was the one thing I wanted but could never have.” Monty exhaled a breath. “A part of me died the day I realized my father would never give a fuck about me.”

I leaned towards Monty, opening my arms for a hug. He fell into my chest, and it was my turn for running my fingers through his hair. His sobs grew louder and louder. “If I could do it all differently, I would. But I can’t. And I’ve gotta live with everything.”

“You aren’t the only who is dead.”

“I don’t understand.”

“A part of me died the day I discovered people were just nice to me and didn’t wanna be my friend.”

“Was Bryce ever evil to you?” Monty asked

“No. He actually defended me several times.”

Monty bit his lip. “Those weeks we spent together were some of the best time of my life.”

“Mine too.” 

Wind roared against the mansion, almost creating a scream. 

I moved my gaze to the window. Monty wasn’t wrong. The time between Homecoming and when he was arrested were some of the best times of my life…

***

I pulled the cover up. A week passed since Monty and I hooked up for the first time, and my parents were once again out of town for the weekend.

Monty panted. “Holy shit.”

“Do you have any reaction besides profanity?”

Monty looked me in the eye. “I can’t help it.”

“What do you see in me?”

“Are you for real?” Monty asked. 

“Yes. I’m being serious.”

“Isn’t it obvious? You’re the only one who understands me.”

“Good to know.”

“What do you see in me?” Monty asked.

If I asked the question, then I should’ve been prepared for Monty doing the same. Although a response escaped me at first. Monty was the personification of the “tall, dark, and handsome” stereotype, proving he was hot. Yet the novelty hadn’t faded. My stomach still remained tighter than any sailor knot. And that was something—I deserved to feel alive as opposed to a ghost who meandered through life without anyone or anything.

“Something new and different,” I said.

“What made you forgive me in the parking lot?” 

“You said you were sorry, and I believed you.”

“It’s the first time someone ever did.”

A part of me almost cried out of sympathy for Monty. As distant as my parents were, I at least had them and my trust fund. And that was more than I could say for Monty. 

Monty winked. “Wanna go again?” 

“Absolutely.”

***

The doorbell rang several evenings later while I finished drinking a glass of water before putting in the sink and answering the door. It wasn’t like my parents would see who was at the door—they were once again out of town.

“What are you doing here, Monty?” I asked.

Monty’s teeth chattered. “I had another fight with my father.”

“Sorry to hear that.” I crumbled the tissue in my hand harder.

Monty studied the tissue, then made direct eye contact before returning his gaze to the tissue. “Have you been crying?” he asked.

“That obvious?”

Monty chuckled. “Your face is redder than Santa Claus’s suit.”

“I didn’t realize that.”

Monty grasped my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

The waxiness from the full moon continued glowing against the pitch-black sky, and an owl hooted. My spine even tingled. Never been much of a fan of the dark, and had no clue why Monty and I were still standing outside. 

“Stupid me. I should invite you in,” I said.

I gesticulated at Monty to come inside my house, then I locked the door behind him. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Monty said.

“It’s the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Monty’s eyes lit up. “Would you wanna tell me about your grandmother over a cup of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate is my thing, but you’re the one who came to see me.”

“I didn’t wanna be alone.”

Couldn’t say I blamed Monty. I didn’t. There were a thousand different things that I would’ve rather done than contemplate how empty life could be.

***

I continued getting the shit beat out of me in front of my school’s front entrance. And it wasn’t like I could fight back when Thomas had a good fifty pounds on me.

“Be thankful I’m doing this, faggot,” Thomas said. “Someone has gotta make a man out of you, because your parents failed.”

“Leave him alone!” called out someone.

That voice. I would’ve recognized it anywhere. It was Monty.

In one swift motion, Monty lifted Thomas off me. Then, he threw Thomas against the sidewalk before stepping back. 

Monty hissed at Thomas. “I’ll kill you if you ever bother Winston again.”

“You don’t go to this school.”

“Do you understand?” Monty asked.

“Fine,” Thomas finally said.

“Good. Now this is for good luck.” Monty kicked Thomas in the stomach twice before shuffling towards me. After that, Monty kneeled in front of me. 

A metallic taste filled my mouth. I then rubbed my lip. Damn. I got attacked much harder than I anticipated.

“What the fuck happened?” Monty asked.

“Thomas is just one of my ‘friends’ here. Anyway, what are you doing where? What if someone accuses you of being a faggot?”

Someone cackled. Monty and I both tilted our head at the same time. Bryce now stood in front of us.

“What are you doing here Monty?” Bryce asked. “Don’t tell me I’m gonna have to bail you out.”

Fuck. I was gonna have to come up with a response fast. If Monty wasn’t ready to come out, then that was fair. He was the one who extended himself—both by saving me from Thomas and by traveling to the opposite side of town (my school).

“I agreed to tutor him,” I said.

Bryce put his hands on his hips. “Don’t you hate him?”

“I do. And that’s why I charged him triple my going rate,” I said.

“But you have access to your trust fund and don’t need money,” Bryce said.

“But this way I can do whatever I want with this money,” I said.

Bryce’s gaze moved to Monty. “Aren’t you afraid of someone thinking you’re gay?”

“Some things are more important than that. A good grade means the possibility of a scholarship, which means escaping my father,” Monty said.

“Fair enough. See you around.” Bryce strutted away as fast as he arrived.

Monty and I both laughed at the same time after exchanging a look.

***

Monty squeezed my hand while we were in bed with the bed comforter wrapped around us a week after Monty saved me from Thomas. 

Monty wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. “Holy shit.”

“You’re more dramatic than I realized,” I said.

“Shut it.”

I leaned right, then grabbed the hot chocolate on the table before flashing it at Monty. “Thanks again for this.”

Monty elbowed me. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I just hope Thomas is leaving you alone.”

“He is.”

“Good. But I’d still like to teach you some self-defense moves. It could be hot.”

I returned Monty’s wink with one of my own. “I’d like that.”

***

“What are you thinking about?” Monty asked, snapping me out of my reminiscing while we continued lying in bed at the mansion.

“Just how fast time moves.”

Monty smirked. “Hopefully, not too fast.”

“I want an answer, Monty.”

“About what?”

“About what is going on,” I said.

“I made friends with someone in prison who helped me stage my attack and bribe the necessary people,” Monty revealed. “But that’s as much as I’m gonna say. You can’t lie about something you don’t know.”

Couldn’t say I blamed him. Life should’ve been getting less complicated, not more complicated. So, Monty just did me a kindness.

“And the guy who brought me here?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s a big part of this.”

“Why stage your death in prison?” I asked.

Monty shuddered. “It became clear I wouldn’t make it in prison. It’s not a place I’d wish on my worst enemy.”

Ouch. Couldn’t say I was shocked by what Monty said. I watched enough television shows and read enough books and newspapers for understanding how prison was the literal definition of Hell. And in a way, I was proud of Monty. He did what was necessary to survive.

“And you’re gonna have to live here all your life?” I asked.

“For now.”

Afternoon sunlight continued trickling into the bedroom. And as much as I didn’t wanna have to consider it, I’d have to leave soon enough. I couldn’t stay here forever.

I huffed. “It’s getting late…”

Monty tugged at my arm. “Don’t go. Not yet.”

“Okay. Five more minutes.”

“Make it ten.”

I shook my head. “Fine.”

Agreeing to stay a little longer than I imagined was fair. Monty and I didn’t have all the time in the world, yet we had some. And that was enough for now. The important thing was we were together. Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal is update the fanfic at least 2 to 3 times a week. Also, in addition to Clay, Anni, and others possibly going down, I'd like to bring in Monty's father into the fanfic at some point. The final showdown between Monty and his father could be the necessary swing for Monty's redemption by proving he wants to break the cycle of violence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty and Winston catchup, and Monty finds out out what happened to Monty.

CHAPTER 3

Monty was alive.

One sentence shouldn’t have impacted my life so much, yet it did. Somehow, the one thing I wanted most in the world came true. And for that, I owed the universe everything. For one—hopefully, not fleeting—moment I’d get everything I wanted.

The bedroom door clinked after Monty locked it, but I remained frozen. Millions of thoughts—like how Monty was alive shouldn’t have lingered on my mind, yet they did. I just needed answers, and didn’t know what I’d do if I didn’t get them.

He snickered. “Just gonna stand there? Or are we gonna fuck?”

I let out a faint laugh, more tears rolling down my cheeks. And I didn’t know if they were happy tears or sad tears. This moment had to last as long as possible, because the inner skeptic in me couldn’t be silenced forever. At some point, I’d have to return to the real world.

“I was joking,” Monty continued.

“I know,” I murmured.

Monty whipped his body around, then looped his arms around my shoulders. “Hey. You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“My life was so empty after I discovered you died.”

Monty’s gaze intensified. “What? A hot twink like you doesn’t have a regular lineup of guys waiting to have sex with him?”

I shrugged.

“Kidding again,” he said.

“I know, I know.”

“Did something happen to you while I was gone? I mean, besides the obvious?” 

“No. I just wanna understand what happened.”

“There’s plenty of time for that later.”

“I used my birthday wish for you to be alive.”

“Looks like you got lucky.” 

“You do know Clay, Ani, and their pals pinned Bryce’s murder on you, right?” I asked.  
Monty sighed. “I know.”

“I’m convinced one of them killed Bryce, and they’re all protecting each other.” I handed Monty my jacket and scarf, then he placed it on the mahogany dresser behind on us. 

“Probably.”

“Is the guy who brought me to you in the mafia?” 

His eyes bulged. “Shit. I can’t get anything by you.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t wanna tell me the truth,” I said. “I thought the time we spent together between homecoming and when you were arrested meant something to you. Was it all a lie?’

His lips curled. “Don’t be ridiculous. How can you ask that?”

“Tell me the truth.”

He squeezed my hands. “I will. But there’s something we should do first.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

Monty stood behind me, then extended his arms. After that, he massaged my neck and back before grazing my right ear with his lips. “I’m tired of you talking and just wanna be with you. While we still have time.”

Most people might’ve been pissed about their “boyfriend” wanting sex over a real conversation. Yet rage hadn’t flared through me after Monty’s comment. If he wanted to bullshit me, he could’ve. But no. Ever since that night in the parking lot, Monty became a different person. So, I closed my eyes while Monty continued rubbing my back. 

“I never thought we’d get a second chance,” Monty said.

I stepped away from Monty, then I gave him a weak smile.

“My ‘death’ really did a number on you, didn’t it?” Monty asked.

“Yes,” I croaked. “I might not have been closeted like you, but you were the only person I could ever be real with. Minor bullying incidents aside, I was the kid most were nice to but nobody actually wanted to be friends with.”

Monty’s Adam apple throbbed. “Sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter.”  
“Tell me what you want?” Monty asked.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I matched Monty’s longing gaze with one of my own. Suddenly, life might as well have resembled that party last summer. The one where Monty and I almost set the room on fire from staring at each other before I locked the door. But unlike that night, Monty didn’t grip my shirt and make a fist. 

Monty’s hands traced the contours of my face while the smooth, cotton like texture of his lips remained pressed against my mouth while he even gave tongue. We pulled away after several more minutes before Monty lifted my shirt off my body. I did the same for him and we shed the rest of our clothes.

Monty leaned closer to my head sometime later, our fingers linked together while the bed comforter remained pulled over us. “Ready?” he asked.

What a gentleman. Monty might not have wanted the world to know he had a heart, but little details often revealed profound truths. Like with checking in with me before we proceeded any further.

His breathing grew heavier and heavier before he finally tilted his head. “Kiss?” he asked.

I kissed him, then we both rolled onto our backs.

“Holy shit!” Monty exclaimed.

I chuckled.

Monty moved closer to me. “Nice to see you laughing, but it better not be at my expensive.” 

“Holy shit was what you said the first time we hooked up. You know. Right before I asked if you were gonna beat the shit out of me.”

Monty shook his head. “You’re never gonna let that go?”

I sat up right in bed, back pressed against the bed board. “I’m teasing. It’s our thing. Remember?” 

“I want you to know that’s not who I am anymore. I wanna break the cycle of violence.”

“It was funny how you didn’t even have to think twice about coming back to my house after Homecoming.”

“Not like I had anything better to do,” Monty said.

I gave him a mock frown. “I’m flattered.”

Monty beamed his eyes. “You should be. You’re the first person I ever went all the way with.”

“Really?”

“Don’t act shocked. I’m only 17.”

“Relax. Nothing to be embarrassed by.” I collapsed onto his chest, but Monty didn’t push me away. Instead, he stroked my hair.

“There’s something you should know.”

“Oh?’

“The platinum blond makes me you even hotter—not that you need it. I knew I wanted to be with you from the second we made eye contact at that party.”

“I’m glad you approve of the new hair color,” I said. “Most people didn’t even have an opinion.”

“Were they silently judging you?” Monty asked. 

“I don’t know. I just needed something fresh, something for myself.”

“I get that.”

“You were the only thing I thought about in prison.”

“Really?” I asked.

“And I owe you an apology—I shouldn’t have turned you away those times you visited me in the prison before I ‘died.’ You deserved better.”

“That’s okay.” I moved away from Monty while my throat burned. Then, I dug my nails into the bed comforter. “Figured you didn’t want me to see you like that.”

“You don’t have to put on a façade. That must’ve hurt your feelings.”

“I learned to live with it like everything else.”

Monty patted my hand. “Please look at me.”

I cocked my head. “Happy?”

“You still came despite me pushing you away?”

“I didn’t have anything better to do.”

“There’s something you don’t know,” Monty said.

“And what’s that?”

“I was gonna come out to my father and leave home the day I was arrested.”

“Really?”

“But I ended up coming out to him in jail.”

“Do I even wanna know how that went?” I asked.

“I thought the day my father burned my wrist with a lighter was the worst day of my life, but I was wrong.” Monty sobbed. “My own fucking father spat in my face while visiting me in prison.”

“Shit.”

“My father caring about me was the one thing I wanted but could never have.” Monty exhaled a breath. “A part of me died the day I realized my father would never give a fuck about me.”

I leaned towards Monty, opening my arms for a hug. He fell into my chest, and it was my turn for running my fingers through his hair. His sobs grew louder and louder. “If I could do it all differently, I would. But I can’t. And I’ve gotta live with everything.”

“You aren’t the only who is dead.”

“I don’t understand.”

“A part of me died the day I discovered people were just nice to me and didn’t wanna be my friend.”

“Was Bryce ever evil to you?” Monty asked

“No. He actually defended me several times.”

Monty bit his lip. “Those weeks we spent together were some of the best time of my life.”

“Mine too.” 

Wind roared against the mansion, almost creating a scream. 

I moved my gaze to the window. Monty wasn’t wrong. The time between Homecoming and when he was arrested were some of the best times of my life…

***

I pulled the cover up. A week passed since Monty and I hooked up for the first time, and my parents were once again out of town for the weekend.

Monty panted. “Holy shit.”

“Do you have any reaction besides profanity?”

Monty looked me in the eye. “I can’t help it.”

“What do you see in me?”

“Are you for real?” Monty asked. 

“Yes. I’m being serious.”

“Isn’t it obvious? You’re the only one who understands me.”

“Good to know.”

“What do you see in me?” Monty asked.

If I asked the question, then I should’ve been prepared for Monty doing the same. Although a response escaped me at first. Monty was the personification of the “tall, dark, and handsome” stereotype, proving he was hot. Yet the novelty hadn’t faded. My stomach still remained tighter than any sailor knot. And that was something—I deserved to feel alive as opposed to a ghost who meandered through life without anyone or anything.

“Something new and different,” I said.

“What made you forgive me in the parking lot?” 

“You said you were sorry, and I believed you.”

“It’s the first time someone ever did.”

A part of me almost cried out of sympathy for Monty. As distant as my parents were, I at least had them and my trust fund. And that was more than I could say for Monty. 

Monty winked. “Wanna go again?” 

“Absolutely.”

***

The doorbell rang several evenings later while I finished drinking a glass of water before putting in the sink and answering the door. It wasn’t like my parents would see who was at the door—they were once again out of town.

“What are you doing here, Monty?” I asked.

Monty’s teeth chattered. “I had another fight with my father.”

“Sorry to hear that.” I crumbled the tissue in my hand harder.

Monty studied the tissue, then made direct eye contact before returning his gaze to the tissue. “Have you been crying?” he asked.

“That obvious?”

Monty chuckled. “Your face is redder than Santa Claus’s suit.”

“I didn’t realize that.”

Monty grasped my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

The waxiness from the full moon continued glowing against the pitch-black sky, and an owl hooted. My spine even tingled. Never been much of a fan of the dark, and had no clue why Monty and I were still standing outside. 

“Stupid me. I should invite you in,” I said.

I gesticulated at Monty to come inside my house, then I locked the door behind him. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Monty said.

“It’s the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Monty’s eyes lit up. “Would you wanna tell me about your grandmother over a cup of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate is my thing, but you’re the one who came to see me.”

“I didn’t wanna be alone.”

Couldn’t say I blamed Monty. I didn’t. There were a thousand different things that I would’ve rather done than contemplate how empty life could be.

***

I continued getting the shit beat out of me in front of my school’s front entrance. And it wasn’t like I could fight back when Thomas had a good fifty pounds on me.

“Be thankful I’m doing this, faggot,” Thomas said. “Someone has gotta make a man out of you, because your parents failed.”

“Leave him alone!” called out someone.

That voice. I would’ve recognized it anywhere. It was Monty.

In one swift motion, Monty lifted Thomas off me. Then, he threw Thomas against the sidewalk before stepping back. 

Monty hissed at Thomas. “I’ll kill you if you ever bother Winston again.”

“You don’t go to this school.”

“Do you understand?” Monty asked.

“Fine,” Thomas finally said.

“Good. Now this is for good luck.” Monty kicked Thomas in the stomach twice before shuffling towards me. After that, Monty kneeled in front of me. 

A metallic taste filled my mouth. I then rubbed my lip. Damn. I got attacked much harder than I anticipated.

“What the fuck happened?” Monty asked.

“Thomas is just one of my ‘friends’ here. Anyway, what are you doing where? What if someone accuses you of being a faggot?”

Someone cackled. Monty and I both tilted our head at the same time. Bryce now stood in front of us.

“What are you doing here Monty?” Bryce asked. “Don’t tell me I’m gonna have to bail you out.”

Fuck. I was gonna have to come up with a response fast. If Monty wasn’t ready to come out, then that was fair. He was the one who extended himself—both by saving me from Thomas and by traveling to the opposite side of town (my school).

“I agreed to tutor him,” I said.

Bryce put his hands on his hips. “Don’t you hate him?”

“I do. And that’s why I charged him triple my going rate,” I said.

“But you have access to your trust fund and don’t need money,” Bryce said.

“But this way I can do whatever I want with this money,” I said.

Bryce’s gaze moved to Monty. “Aren’t you afraid of someone thinking you’re gay?”

“Some things are more important than that. A good grade means the possibility of a scholarship, which means escaping my father,” Monty said.

“Fair enough. See you around.” Bryce strutted away as fast as he arrived.

Monty and I both laughed at the same time after exchanging a look.

***

Monty squeezed my hand while we were in bed with the bed comforter wrapped around us a week after Monty saved me from Thomas. 

Monty wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. “Holy shit.”

“You’re more dramatic than I realized,” I said.

“Shut it.”

I leaned right, then grabbed the hot chocolate on the table before flashing it at Monty. “Thanks again for this.”

Monty elbowed me. “You don’t have to thank me for anything. I just hope Thomas is leaving you alone.”

“He is.”

“Good. But I’d still like to teach you some self-defense moves. It could be hot.”

I returned Monty’s wink with one of my own. “I’d like that.”

***

“What are you thinking about?” Monty asked, snapping me out of my reminiscing while we continued lying in bed at the mansion.

“Just how fast time moves.”

Monty smirked. “Hopefully, not too fast.”

“I want an answer, Monty.”

“About what?”

“About what is going on,” I said.

“I made friends with someone in prison who helped me stage my attack and bribe the necessary people,” Monty revealed. “But that’s as much as I’m gonna say. You can’t lie about something you don’t know.”

Couldn’t say I blamed him. Life should’ve been getting less complicated, not more complicated. So, Monty just did me a kindness.

“And the guy who brought me here?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s a big part of this.”

“Why stage your death in prison?” I asked.

Monty shuddered. “It became clear I wouldn’t make it in prison. It’s not a place I’d wish on my worst enemy.”

Ouch. Couldn’t say I was shocked by what Monty said. I watched enough television shows and read enough books and newspapers for understanding how prison was the literal definition of Hell. And in a way, I was proud of Monty. He did what was necessary to survive.

“And you’re gonna have to live here all your life?” I asked.

“For now.”

Afternoon sunlight continued trickling into the bedroom. And as much as I didn’t wanna have to consider it, I’d have to leave soon enough. I couldn’t stay here forever.

I huffed. “It’s getting late…”

Monty tugged at my arm. “Don’t go. Not yet.”

“Okay. Five more minutes.”

“Make it ten.”

I shook my head. “Fine.”

Agreeing to stay a little longer than I imagined was fair. Monty and I didn’t have all the time in the world, yet we had some. And that was enough for now. The important thing was we were together. Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal is to update the fanfic at least 2 to 3 times a week. Also, in addition to Clay, Ani, and others possibly going down, I'd like to bring in Monty's father into the fanfic at some point. The final showdown between Monty and his father could be the necessary swing for Monty's redemption by proving he wants to break the cycle of violence.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winston has a confrontation with Jessica and Ani. Then, he visits Monty again.

CHAPTER 4

The placard on the door jingled while I left Monet’s.

Wind swooshed, pushing a crushed soda can down the block. Although I didn’t anticipate bumping into Ani within less than ten seconds of leaving Monet’s. 

Ani smiled. “Good to see you, Winston.”

Ani must’ve been a bigger twit than I realized. If Ani believed what she said, then she was an idiot.

“We don’t have to do this,” I said.

“Excuse me?”

“There’s no reason we’ve gotta make superficial conversation. Look the other way when you see me.”

Yup. I couldn’t hold back anymore. Life being too short was the one good thing that Monty’s “death” taught me. There were a ton of other things I would’ve rather been doing than talking with Ani. Yet here I was, standing next to her. Almost as if our confrontations gave me an outlet for my rage.

Ani pushed her purse strap further up her shoulder. “Doesn’t have to be like this.”

“Yeah. It does.”

“I get why you’re upset, but Monty is dead. And that’s that.”

She had to be fucking kidding me. At least I hadn’t told Ani that she needed to get over Bryce’s death. Even I wasn’t that cruel.

I put my hands on my hips. “Are you for real?”

Ani bit her lip. “Screw it. I tried being nice.”

“Your point being?” I demanded.

“Who did you meet at the mansion the other day?” 

My pulse drummed in my ears. Ani couldn’t have said what she just had. My time with Monty was supposed to be my secret. So, denial would be best. Wasn’t like Ani had proof Monty was alive.

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” I said.  
Ani let out a pig-like snort. “Don’t play dumb. I saw you get in a black SUV and you went to a mansion on the edge of town…I know that because I followed you.”

“You must be mistaken.”

“I might be a lot of things, but I’m not blind.”

I was about to walk away when Ani stepped in front of me.

“Get out of my way!” I exclaimed.

“Clay and I can help you if you’re in trouble.”

“As usual you’ve got no idea what’s going on.”

“Then tell me,” she said.

“How does it feel that Clay is only with you because Hannah is dead? Must be great knowing your second fiddle to a ghost.”

Yeah. No apology necessary for what I said. My harshness provided the reality that Ani might’ve so desperately needed.

Her lips curled. “Clay got past his issues.”

I pointed a finger at her. “I’m not playing a game anymore.”

“Why are you so damn stubborn? I’m trying to be nice.”

“I don’t need anything from you.”

“What’s going on?” asked someone.

I turned around. It was Jessica. Great. Just what I needed. Another outstanding Liberty student to chat with.

“I’m trying to be nice to him, but Winston is being unreasonable,” Ani said.

Jessica looked at Ani, then looked at me. After that, her gaze returned to Ani. “Why don’t you let met chat with Winston?” Jessica asked.

Not sure what Jessica hoped to accomplished, yet I would’ve conversed with the Devil if it meant listening to Ani’s shrill voice. So, I wouldn’t scurry away. At least for the moment, that was.

Ani blinked. “Really?”  
“I might have a different perspective,” Jessica said.

Ani darted away while the wind picked up again, and Jessica’s curls bounced in the wind. 

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Jessica sighed. “I’m sorry for your loss. Dealing with Monty’s death couldn’t have been easy.”

“No shit,” I said. “Wait. Did Ani tell you about our previous conversations?”

“I’m observant. That look on the football field you shared the night of Homecoming was something.”

“I don’t wish bad on you,” I said. “But I’m never gonna be friends with you and your friends.”

“Monty wasn’t exactly innocent,” Jessica said.

Okay. Perhaps Jessica was terrible like Ani. Not sure what she wanted to accomplish by slandering Monty’s reputation. It wasn’t like Monty was a threat to her.

I lunged forward. “I know what happened between him and Tyler. And although I can’t defend it, you shouldn’t discuss things you’re clueless about.”

“Come again?”

“Where do you think Monty got that awful idea to begin with?” Tears pricked my eyes. Damn. I wasn’t even the victim, yet I couldn’t shake the fear trembling through my body from my pending revelation. “His father raped him with a broomstick after he failed all his finals in ninth grade.”

“I had no idea.”

“You and your friends really are the biggest hypocrites I’ve ever met. Forgiving someone is one thing, yet you’re playing with fire by how you handled Tyler.”

Yeah. Time for Jessica to have a dose of reality. Jessica and her friends must’ve had a high opinion of themselves for deciding who was and wasn’t worthy of a second chance.

“He made a mistake,” Jessica said.

“Monty did also. Only difference is he’ll never get a chance to repent.”

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“I don’t need your apologies. Just leave me alone.”

“Fine.” Jessica stormed off while flurries fell from the sky. And I even shivered while a colder, distinct chill permeated the air. There was only one place where I needed to be.

***

Monty and I continued lying in bed sometime later. 

Monty coughed, then glared. “We should talk.”

“Weren’t satisfied enough to say, ‘holy shit’ like the other times?”

He nudged my elbow. “This is serious, Winston.”

My throat constricted. Hopefully, Monty wasn’t gonna say something I wouldn’t wanna hear. Like how I couldn’t see him again because someone might get suspicious. I might’ve been a lot of things, yet I wasn’t oblivious to how Monty and I were playing with fire.

“Okay. I’m listening,” I said.

“You’ve gotta promise me you’ll let your anger go.” Monty paused for a beat. “It’s not a judgement or anything. Just take it from me. It never goes to a good place.”

“We should be getting revenge on them, especially that Ani.”

“Winston, please!”

“I have a prescription for sedatives that I occasionally take for anxiety. Could always start drugging them and making them think they’re going crazy by them losing time and having blackouts.”

Monty hissed at me. “Winston!”

“Relax, I’m kidding.”

Monty chuckled. “Good. You’d never survive prison.”

I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m sorry, babe. But you know I’m right,” Monty said.

“I have an idea. Why don’t we not talk about Ani for the remainder of today’s visit?” 

Monty clapped his hands. “Perfect. Because I was thinking we could have a date night.”

“What’d you have in mind?” I asked.

“I’ll cook dinner for you,” Monty said, cheeks turning red.

How adorable. Monty was showing more vulnerability, and I couldn’t get enough of it. Only problem was life would’ve been so much better if the rest of the world saw the good in Monty that I saw. 

“What?” Monty asked. “Don’t trust my cooking skills?”

Interesting. I didn’t need a psych degree for understanding why Monty would put himself down. At least my parents loved me in a superficial way. Monty probably never experienced before meetng me.

“Please don’t put words in my mouth,” I said. “I’d love it if you cooked me dinner. But I need a nice, strong drink first.”

Yeah. Loosening up while hanging out Monty was best. Ani and company might’ve trashed Monty’s reputation, yet I wouldn’t let her ruin my time with him. At least tonight, that was. Life being unfair with Ani and company getting away with everything could be tomorrow’s problem. It was just time for the tables to turn on Ani and her friends. Even if I wanted nothing more than to keep my promise to Monty about letting my anger go. If Monty could change, then I should’ve too. Yet life was more complicated than that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monty makes Winston dinner, then they make plans to spend the following day together. And Monty confides in Winston about his involvement with the mafia does and doesn't entail.

CHAPTER 5

I stood next to Monty in the kitchen several minutes after he revealed his plans about cooking dinner. And I couldn’t lie to myself. The thought of someone pampering me created more excitement and joy than a day off from school—I couldn’t remember the last time my parents and I had a family dinner.

Monty’s eyebrows inched up. “What are you thinking about, babe?”

“Nothing.” I took a more than generous swig of my bourbon, then placed the glass on the counter in front of me.

“Gonna have to try harder if you wanna convince me that you’re okay.” Monty grabbed a knife and sliced open the plastic before removing the Fillet Mignon from the package. “Don’t forget I was friends with Bryce for years, so I know when someone is holding back.”

I shuddered. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t be silly, so just tell me. I promise not to be angry with you.” 

Always expecting complete honesty in a dynamic might’ve been naïve, yet the truth might’ve been the one thing helping my relationship with Monty. If I expected him to be open with me, then I should’ve done the same. Even if there was a chance Monty might talk around the issue like he had before. This way, I would’ve at least tried.

“I wanna know how this is real,” I said. “Making a deal with the mafia is a very dangerous game.”

“No shit.”

“How can you not be scared?”

Monty snickered. “You aren’t gonna let this go, are you?”

“Please just tell me. I promise I won’t betray your confidence.” I grabbed my bourbon, then gulped down the rest of my drink in a matter of seconds.

Monty did a 180 around the kitchen before peaking his head into the hallway. No echoing of shuffling footsteps. So, I could pretend it was Monty and I against the world for a little while longer. 

“Maybe it’s easier if I tell you.” Monty looped his arms around my neck before looking me in the eye. “I’m not the mafia’s bitch. The opposite in fact.”

My jaw twitched. “I don’t understand…”

“There was a prison riot a week before I ‘died,’ and I saved the brother of a Don.”

I let out a faint laugh. If I had one goal, it was that I needed to worry less. If my relationship with Monty lasted this long, then I should’ve had more faith in him. Monty was the last person who’d ever allow himself to get pushed around by a mobster. And this moment was the only time I’d admit this fact to myself, but I now appreciated Monty’s rigidness.

“What’s so funny?” Monty asked.

“Nothing.”

“Anyway, I’m all set. Anything I want, and I snap my fingers.”

“Did you know you were saving the brother of a Don during the prison riot?” I asked.

Monty nodded. “Yes. Because I wasn’t gonna let myself be a victim and die in some fucking prison riot. I knew that I did that one thing—saving the Don’s brother—then the tables might turn. And that was worth everything.”

“Why not have them procure you fake papers? You could start over anywhere.”

Monty smirked. “Isn’t it obvious? A part of me hoped we would find our way back to each other.”

My chest tightened. Monty’s response meant more to me than he’d ever know. I needed Monty like he needed me. Nobody ever valued me before like he had, because I would’ve still bet my life on how he couldn’t fake the look on his face—the one informing he adored me and might’ve even killed for me.

“Were they upset when you demanded they fetch me?” I asked.

“Nope. They know I held the power.”

“I’m proud of you for using corruption to your advantage since they must’ve had someone at the prison in their pocket.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Promise me you won’t let yourself get dragged into illegal activity?” I asked.

“They already know that’s not an option.” Monty removed his hands from my shoulder, then returned his gaze to the steak on the counter.

Stupid me. I should’ve once again realized Monty could take care of himself—he had a life before meeting me and must’ve done something right to have survived this long. And said fact was right. If Monty could defend himself, then the knot in my stomach might just be less tight one day.

“I’m not trying to argue with you or anything, but you could’ve come to me for help,” I said. “I have no problem bribing the District Attorney.”

“I don’t want you getting your hands dirty. You’re the one pure thing in my life,” Monty said.  
An English teacher might’ve chastised Monty for sounding trite, yet I wouldn’t. His corny behavior with thinking I was pure reaffirmed my attitude of him. So maybe, just maybe, people could change if they really wanted to. 

“This is delicious,” I said sometime later while we sat on the floor in front of his bed. Then, I shoveled another piece of steak into my mouth. Except I let the meat linger on my tongue for a beat. Nothing like the explosion of flavor from a rare steak. “Where’d you learn to cook?”

Monty sipped his water before cocking his head towards me. “I taught myself. That’s what happens when you have a violent, homophobic, drunk father.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Monty rubbed my knee. “Don’t worry about it. Although I’m gonna roll my eyes if you berate yourself one more time. Don’t you know how amazing you are?”

I shrugged.

“I’ll always be lucky to have found you,” Monty continued. “And I wish I apologized sooner.”

I squeezed Monty’s hand. “Now who is the worrier? That’s all in the past.”

“The past doesn’t stay buried forever.”

My teeth pricked my lip, filling my mouth with a slight metallic taste. “Talking about Tyler?”

“Among other things.”

I coughed, clearing the uneasiness from my throat. “If you really are sorry for Tyler, which I believe you are, then you can’t punish yourself for the rest of your life. Focus on being the better man. The man who apologized to me that night in the parking lot.”

“I’ll try.”

Poor Monty. The most profound truth was once again revealed in what wasn’t said. And with Monty, that meant how a part of him must’ve doubted whether he deserved happiness or was worthy of redemption.

“I know you will,” I said.  
***  
Outside cawing birds woke me up while sunlight beamed through the curtains. Then, I yawned and stretched my arms. Except I didn’t realize my head was on Monty’s lap and we still were on the floor in front of his bed.

“Morning,” Monty said.

“What happened?”

“You wanted to close your eyes for several minutes.”

I looked up at Monty, then laughed. “Oops.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s adorable.”

“Hopefully, I wasn’t snoring…”

“You were fine,” Monty said.

Whether Monty meant what he said didn’t matter. Humoring people was best when nothing serious was at risk—it was what I would’ve done for Monty. No need for making life more complicated than necessary.

I sat up before running my fingers through my hair. “Shit. My parents.”

“You said they were out of town again,” Monty said. “Anyway, why don’t I make you breakfast?”

“I’d like that very much. In fact, I’m gonna skip school today. I haven’t used any of my allotted absences.”

Monty licked his lips. “Don’t tell me I’ve been a bad influence?”

“Just following your lead. If I want something, then I should fight for it. No apologies.”

Monty stood first, then offered his hand. 

Holding hands all the way to the kitchen might not have been much, yet it was something. And that was all that mattered. Anything that distracted me from worrying about how our relationship might’ve been on borrowed time was great. Life could pivot to a bad extreme like it could a good one. So, I’d do something I never did before. Focus on staying in the moment with Monty. Monty and I didn’t have to figure out the rest of our lives today—we just had to enjoy the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive encouragement!! Anyway, I know this is another short chapter, but my ultimate goal for this fanfic is for it to be both character and plot driven. Ultimately, that means there will be both big and small moments. But the fanfic is building to something big. I could easily see this be 40 chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First chapter from Monty's POV. Several days after the previous chapter, and Monty and Winston hook up again. Plus, a few bombshells come to light. More specifically, how fragile Winston really is.

CHAPTER 6

The door clinked while I locked it. Several days passed since Winston ditched school to spend the day with me. And I would’ve been lying if I didn’t mention my heart skipping a beat or two while Winston and I stood in front of my bed. Winston was my one connection to the outside world, and I’d spend as much time with him as possible.

Winston chuckled. 

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

Winston’s cheeks flushed. “Nothing.” 

“You should know I’m good at getting the truth out of you.”

“I’m just impressed with you. Changing the sheets isn’t something I expected.”

A lump lingered in my throat. “It wasn’t me. It was the maid.”

Winston tugged at my collar. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“I’m serious.”

Lying to Winston was harmless. What he didn’t know, was that there wasn’t a maid here. Apparently, that was the one thing this mafia family didn’t have. Anyway, my point was there was no harm in having a little edge to me. It wasn’t like I wanted to kick puppies—I didn’t. I just didn’t wanna seem like a complete pussy. I made the extra effort by changing the sheets, but that was my secret.

“What do you want to do?” Winston asked.

“I had a few ideas.”

Winston winked. “Really?”

I kissed Winston without any equivocation. Not seeming weak didn’t mean I’d put walls up—I wouldn’t. Anything that let Winston know I was in this for the long haul was good. He deserved to know someone cared about him.

We detached from the kiss after a moment.

Winston made eye contact, then looked at my waist, then made eye contact again. And just like that, I might as well have been hanging with him in that locked bedroom at that party last summer. So, I pulled Winston in for a deeper kiss, fingernails sinking into his cheeks while I even gave a little tongue this time. 

I pulled one hand off Winston face and undid my belt buckle and dropped my jeans and boxers in a matter of seconds. Winston pulled his head away, breaking our kiss. My hand jerked Winston’s head towards my waist before he got busy. I moaned and groaned while the room might as well have spun despite how I wasn’t on drugs. Nothing like experiencing happiness, because this moment with Winston was something the universe could never steal from me—it’d always be engrained in my mind while waiting for his next visit at the mansion. 

I couldn’t lie to myself about another thing, though. No tears welled in my eyes while Winston continued bobbing his head faster and mouth deeper. As awful as my father spitting on me in the jail cell was, that day set me free. I was nobody’s bitch anymore—nothing would hold me back from living my best life. More specifically, I had no more shame about being gay.

I hovered over Winston sometime later while my fingers dug into the bed board. Sweat rolled down my back and my eyes remained closed. Tuning out the outside world was the only true way to enjoy this moment with Winston.

Opening my eyes happened a few minutes later, then I tilted my head. “Kiss?” I asked.

Winston grazed my lips in one, swift motion before we rolled onto our sides.

“Holly shit!” I exclaimed.

“There’s the Monty I know and love.”

“I can’t help it if every time gets better than the previous one.”

“If you say something,” Winston said.

I raised an eyebrow. “What? Was that not good enough for you?”

“Didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Winston scooted closer. “It was fine. Better than fine. Maybe we can go again in a few minutes.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Not like I have anything better to do.”

Letting Winston’s comment slide was best. Bantering in a non-toxic way was our thing. I might’ve been a lot of things, but my promise wasn’t shit. I said I was sorry to him that night in the parking lot, and I meant it. I had nothing to gain from lying to him. I hadn’t been oblivious to Winston fumbling for his keys—almost as if talking with me would’ve been worse for Winston than him spotting a snake.  
Truthfully, I’d always be thankful for Bryce. If he hadn’t labeled me a coward after the Homecoming game, then I never would’ve apologized to him. Even if my eye contact with Winston on the football field was a good start. No matter how much I almost vomited from suppressing the obvious from that eye contact on the football, I couldn’t deny the truth of that fleeting moment. Some things couldn’t be faked.

I bit my lip after something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. More specifically, the faint red marks on Winston’s neck. Then, I leaned closer. Being a doctor wasn’t required for speculating about what might’ve caused Winston’s bruises. But carefulness and respect was required for proceeding. If Winston had no friends at Hillcrest and his parents were MIA, then I couldn’t alienate him.

“What happened to your neck?” I asked.

Winston averted his gaze. “I don’t wanna discuss it.”

“You can tell me anything. Promise I won’t judge or betray your confidence.”

“You’d think less of me,” he whispered.

I cupped his chin. “I wouldn’t.”

“I’d never kill myself over a relationship, but your death was the last push when combined with the minor bullying and general isolation.”

I narrowed my gaze. “I don’t understand.”

“I tried to hang myself with a rope, but it ripped. And that’s the only reason I’m alive.”

“Fuck, Winston. I…”

He gazed down at his lap. “You don’t have to say anything.”

I fought back the tears, but not because I was afraid of being labeled a pussy. I wasn’t. Someone needed to be strong for Winston, and that person was me. If he could give me a chance despite how I punched him at that party, then I wanted run because of him mentioning a mental health crisis. Even I wasn’t that shitty of a person. Hell, even Bryce wasn’t that much of a turd.

Winston sobbed. “All I could think about was how my life was so empty. But then I felt guilty because I didn’t want my parents to be humiliated from nobody attending my funeral.”

“Did you really think that?”

“Think what?” Winston asked.

“That nobody would go to your funeral.”  
“Yes,” he said without blinking. 

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Like I said, the only thing worse than being bulled is being invisible. Imagine nobody noticing you’re dead. That would’ve been me—no doubt about it.” Winston wiped both of his eyes while more tears streamed down his face.

Poor guy. I never expected someone like Winston to be consumed by so much pain. Regardless of him not being popular, he still carried himself with a certain grace and confidence that night in the bedroom before we had oral sex for the first time. Almost as if Winston’s demeanor between getting up and locking the bedroom door resembled the accuracy and precision required of a ballet dancer navigating every dance move.

I rubbed my cheek, then heaved a sighed. “I meant what I said about promising not to blab this. However, you must agree to something.”

“And what’s that?” Winston asked, his eyes on the fingernail he was currently picking.

“Come here if you are ever in crisis—I don’t care what time of day it is.”

“Sure.” Winston gritted his teeth. “But I want you to consider something. There are more direct ways of dealing with Ani and company.”

“You aren’t talking about killing them, are you?” I asked.

“No. I’m talking about stockpiling my blood and framing them for my murder. Let my ‘death’ bury them.”

I choked on a gulp of my own air. “I should’ve known something was up when you told me Gone Girl was your favorite movie.”

“I’m serious, Monty.”

I squeezed his hand. “I don’t want you fucking up your life for me. I’m not worth it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re worth everything.”

How kind of Winston. First person to ever think I meant something in this world, and I’d never forget that fact. My father’s beatings and him sodomizing me with a broomstick might’ve been over, but I’d never forget. More specifically, the thousand little deaths I had because of my father. Because if I was my past self, then I would’ve made a fist and killed my father.

“Then I want you to consider something else,” Winston said.

“Anything.”  
“I know you didn’t want me bribing the District Attorney, but reconsider it. We could make a deal that protects you, the mob, and whatever prison guards and police officers were paid off.”

“What about Tyler?” I asked.

“You didn’t let me finish. We could help them catch Bryce’s real killer in exchange for immunity with the Tyler situation.”

“Winston…”

“Please think about it. I mean, wouldn’t you like to return to the land of the living and rebuild your life? The one your father stole from you because of everything he did to you.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Winston smiled. “That’s all I’m asking.”

“Understood.”

I couldn’t deny my intrigue about rebuilding a life for myself—one that included Winston. A chance to be a better man—someone who didn’t break people to feel better about his own brokenness. So, yeah. I hadn’t just lied to Winston when I told him I’d consider it. Only question was if I’d get scared and fuck everything up like I always did, because I didn’t know what I’d do if I ever lost Winston again. Even if pushing him away would’ve been the easiest option—I had everything I wanted at the mansion.

“One more thing,” I continued.

“And what’s that?”

“I fibbed about changing the sheets—I wanted to make the effort.”

Winston laughed louder. “I already figured that out.”

“Well, now you know.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter from Monty's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some Monty and Winston angst in this chapter, but it's only temporary. The goal of this fanfic isn't what their relationship status is--they'll reunite pretty soon. Also, this is the last chapter before Winston transfers to Liberty and begins his revenge against Ani and company. This story is kind of like a snowball rolling down the hill. The conflict is gonna get bigger and bigger.

CHAPTER 7

I scooted closer towards Winston in bed several afternoons after he gave me the ultimatum about ending my life in the shadows and rebuilding my new life. Except my pulse hammered in my ears. The blank expression hadn’t vanished from Winston’s face since we rolled onto our sides a good ten or fifteen minutes ago.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

Winston coughed. “I deserve an answer, Monty.”

“About what?”

“Don’t try that trick with me. I’m the one who invented playing dumb, so it’s not gonna work on me.”

A lump lingered in my throat, yet I couldn’t swallow it. So much for thinking my relationship with Winston would remain in the fairytale phase forever, because that was what would’ve happened in a perfect world. Despite all the terrible things in my life, Winston was the one good thing. And I couldn’t fuck up our relationship. Although I probably would—said fact was an unwritten law of the universe since I always fucked shit up.

Enough stalling, though. Winston was the one person who meant something to me, and I couldn’t lie to him. Not intentionally, at least. And if that meant having a difficult conversation, so be it. If I wanted my relationship with Winston to work, then we should’ve at least attempted honesty.

I bit my lip. “You’re right; you deserve an answer.”

Winston cocked his head. “Relax. You don’t have to say anything.”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“The answer is written all over your face,” Winston said. “I might be a loser, but reading people is the one thing I’m good at.”

Ouch. I considered myself a good poker player no matter how imperfect I was—years of hiding my sexuality proved that fact. So, Winston shouldn’t have known the truth without me revealing my answer. Yet here I was, headed for more disappointment. No matter how much I might explain the truth to Winston, he’d probably still be upset. And I didn’t blame him. Our relationship went from hiding behind one secret—me being in the closet—to another—me still being alive.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “You aren’t a loser.”  
“Save it. You aren’t gonna return with me and try to rebuild your life.” Winston shifted to the edge of the bed. Then, he slid his boxers on and slipped into his shorts. “And that’s whatever. I should’ve known better than to expect anything real from you.”

I pressed my hands together. “Winston, please. Let’s just discuss it.”

Winston shoved his socks and shoes on before whipping his body around, facing me. “Admit it. Everything between us has been a lie. You were never sorry about punching me at the party last summer—you just had a guilty conscious. In fact, I bet you didn’t even chat with Bryce in the parking lot before you spoke with me after the Homecoming game.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I deserve more than being your shameful secret. Do you have any idea what being alone all the time is like? You won’t even let me stock pile my own blood and frame Ani and company for my murder so I can come live here with you.”

I remained silent.

“You wanna know something else?” Winston continued. “I bet you said I seem like a great guy in the parking lot that night so I’d sleep with you.”

I shook my head. “That’s not true, and you know it.”

“Cut the bullshit.”

I grabbed my sweatpants to the left of me, then put them on in a matter of seconds. After that, I rushed over to Winston who stood in the middle between my bed and the door. “Please, baby. It doesn’t have to be like this—we can keep seeing each other here at the mansion,” I said.

Winston scoffed. “You’d hate it if you lost this arrangement, wouldn’t you? Then you couldn’t get off anymore.”

I grabbed Winston’s hands—almost like when a parent held their child’s hand when crossing the street. “I love you.”

“Whatever.”

“What?” I asked. “We never see each other again?”

Winston shoved my hands away before curling a fist. “Works for me. In fact, I wish you just died in prison. At least then my life would be simpler.”

“You don’t mean that.”

He sneered. “I do. Because you, Monty, are nothing but a vile piece of shit. Some would even say I have Stockholm Syndrome.”

“Nobody coerced you into forgiving me. That was all you.”

“You are just a fucking coward, because the DA could’ve made the story work. Your staged death could’ve been part of the cover, so your mob buddies and police officers and prison guards who were paid off would be in the clear. But no. You just gave up on us.”

“Don’t say that!” I exclaimed.

“I should’ve known your head was empty from the time we had oral sex at the party. All you did was chuckle at my joke. You didn’t even try to make conversation with me.”

“Not every interaction involves words.”

“I hope you get everything you want out of life, because it’s not gonna be.” Winston shuffled towards the door, but I stood in front of the door, blocking him.

Tears welled in my eyes. “Please don’t go.” 

“How ironic. The asshole, athletic, homophobic, jock actually gives a fuck. Too bad it’s a little too little too late.”

“Tell me what you want me to do,” I pleaded.

“I already did—you’re just too much of a fucking pussy,” Winston spat. “Move away from the exit or I’ll break you in half.”

Ouch. Never expect violence from Winston.

“If I didn’t care about you, then I wouldn’t have remembered that thing you told me the first time we slept together,” I said.

“Don’t care,” Winston said.

“I appreciate where you’re coming from, but it’d be nice if you considered my feelings.” I paused for a beat. “In case you forgot, I raped Tyler with a mop. There’s no coming back from that even if I mention my father’s abuse, drinking, homophobia, how he also raped me with amop, in addition to how I’m genuinely sorry.”

“You won’t know unless you try,” Winston said.

I grunted. “You just don’t get it, and maybe that’s a good thing. You’ve never done anything so terrible before.”

“What about the terrible things Ani and company have done?” Winston demanded. “Bryce might’ve pulled the trigger by raping Hannah, but others provided the ammunition. Because Hannah committed suicide as a result of all them. Yet they go around acting like they’re perfect in addition to how they got a second chance.”

How fun. I loved Winston mentioning Hannah, because I so needed another thing on my list of regrets. There wasn’t a day that went by where I wished Hannah wasn’t still alive. Killing herself shouldn’t have been the answer, because she had her whole life ahead of her.

More tears pricked my eyes. “Please, baby. Don’t you love me?”

“What? Loving you is supposed to make this arrangement better?”

“Yes.”

“Move!” he exclaimed.

I huffed. Arguing with Winston would’ve been futile—for now, at least. I couldn’t make him doing something he wanted to do. So maybe, just maybe, I’d step aside. That was the right thing to do no matter how many more tears trickled down my face in addition to how my throat tightened so much that an elephant might as well have almost crushed my windpipe. 

“Have it your way.” I stepped aside.

Winston left without another word before the door’s slamming created an echo effect.

Louder sobbing and screaming happened in a matter of seconds before I sat in a fetal position on the ground. What I told Winston wasn’t a lie—I hadn’t forgotten that thing he revealed the first night we slept together…

***

Winston and I continued lying in bed after I almost cried from my confession about how I couldn’t be anything I wanted. Although a thought somehow popped into my head. Something, anything to lighten the mood was all I needed.

I leaned forward, then winked. “You know my deepest secret—my sexuality—so it’s only fair I know something about.”

“Come again?” he asked.

“Tell me something about you—something that nobody else knows.”

“I like photography.”

I wrinkled my nose. “No offense, but that’s kind of obvious.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” He coughed into his right arm.  
“My bad. Please continue.”

“My photography isn’t just something I do for the yearbook or a hobby in my free time. I actually wanna be a professional photographer.” Winston’s gaze drifted to the bed comforter. “My parents even know that fact, except they’re gonna cut me off if I attend art school to pursue photography. They want me to be something more realistic like a doctor, lawyer, or teacher.” His cheeks flushed. “I’m sure you think that’s dumb…”

Wow. Wasn’t expecting a similarity with Winston, because I couldn’t deny how pissed Winston must’ve felt. If he wanted to pursue photography, then he should. Winston deserved the best of everything after he gave me a second chance.

I pushed a lock of his hair to the side. “I think it’s great.”

***

The hammering of outside rain snapped me out of my digression while my wailing reverberated through my bedroom at the mansion. I hadn’t gotten up from my fetal position, and more tears dotted my eyes. 

Somehow, my worst fear came true. I’d fucked everything with Winston up, and now I was as alone as I had been in the jail cell. 

Shit. What a life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winston transfers to Liberty, has an encounter with Ani, then reconciles with Monty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Winston's POV, but I'm still gonna do more chapters from Monty's POV. The next chapter (Chapter 8) will be from Monty's POV. Also, Winston has a personal secret that predates the events of Season 3 and this fanfic. The secret will be revealed in the next chapter after this (Chapter 8). This secret from his childhood is why Winston is a little on edge/pushing Monty away.

CHAPTER 8

My locker clinked after I did the combination several weeks after my breakup with Monty, while the shuffling of footsteps grew louder. 

Someone approached me. “What are you doing here, Winston?” she asked.

I cocked my head. “Nice to see you too, Ani.”

Ani sighed. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Please. That bitch had a lot of nerve demanding something from me—even something as simple as answering a question. Ani was part of the reason my life was a mess, and she deserved every bad thing that happened to her. No matter how flawed Monty was, he didn’t deserve to be blamed for a murder he didn’t commit. 

“I switched schools,” I said.

Her mouth gaped. “In the middle of the semester?”

“Money talks. Even at a public school like Liberty.”

“Must be nice to throw around cash—not that’d I know anything about it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Shading me?”

“Just stating a fact. Anyway, I can’t imagine how you’re still feeling in light of Monty’s death. But my offer stands.”

This girl was something else. She couldn’t think we’d pretend we were BFFs and have an honest conversation. Please. I had a better chance of traveling to Mars then that happening. I’d never be friends with the one person I hated most in the world.

I blinked. “Oh, yeah?”

“You don’t deserve to be miserable for the rest of your life. Enjoy the last 6 months of high school,” Ani said.

What a joke. Didn’t need her to tell me how to feel.

I clapped my hand over my chest. “Your concern is touching.”

“Save the theatrics. You aren’t fooling anyone.” 

“What the fuck you getting at?” I asked.

“You’re dead on the inside because of Monty, and that’s okay. The amount of time you spent together doesn’t change its significance.”

I scoffed. “Don’t need you to be my therapist.”

“I was just empathizing with you, because I know how you feel. I wish I got the chance to show Bryce someone loved him.”

My throat burned for a fleeting moment. One truth had to be acknowledged no matter how much Ani increased my pulse. She was right about her comment, proving we had more in common than I cared for. We both loved complicated people, and I couldn’t help being surprised by how composed she’d been since Bryce died.

“Expect me to feel sorry for you?” I asked.

“I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Good. Because you aren’t getting jack shit from me.”

Her lips curled. “I’ll be blunt. You don’t deserve to turn into the next Hannah. I’m sure Monty would want you to cope.”

“You don’t know a fucking thing about my relationship with Monty.”

The lump lingered in her threat. “You’re right, and I shouldn’t be presumptuous.”

“No shit.” I paused for a second. “I might not have proof, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“Excuse me?”

“Whatever you and your friends said implicated Monty in Bryce’s death.” I tugged my backpack straps harder. “Better watch your step, bitch. I can go to the police anytime I want and give them Monty’s alibi.”

The euphoria rushing through my head surpassed thinking the hallway was spinning. A better person wouldn’t have gotten pleasure from being cruel, but I couldn’t help myself. I wasn’t the same person I once was. And maybe that was a good thing. Being my old self got me nothing, and I was tired of losing.

“Is that a threat?” she asked.

“No. It’s a fact. My house’s security system has a timestamp.”

“What’s stopping you from going to the police?” Ani asked. “Just gonna take matters into your own hands and kill me and the others?”

I leaned into Ani’s right ear while the echoing of numerous chatter filled the hallway. “If I wanted you dead, then I would’ve already slit your throat.”

Threatening Ani wasn’t exactly a trip to Starbucks or Monet’s, but I didn’t care. If Monty was gonna be judged, then It was only fair for Ani and company to face the same eternal damnation.

***

I opened my bedroom door after school several days after my encounter with Ani, only for my eyebrows to scrunch. The person standing in front of me couldn’t be here, yet Monty hadn’t disappeared when I opened my eyes after blinking several times.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I tossed my backpack onto my bed, then shifted my weight. 

Monty walked up to me. “We need to chat.”

What a surprise. The universe was really gonna pile it on me today. First with dealing with that cow Ani and now with Monty. And said fact was just great. It wasn’t as if I had an unlimited supply of patience.

“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” I said.

“That’s fine. You just gotta listen.”

“Do your mafia pals know you’re here?” I demanded.

“Yeah. One of them drove me.”

I stroked my chin. Monty’s reveal explained the black SUV parked by my mailbox. I hadn’t thought much upon spotting it since the people in the SUV hadn’t bothered me, yet I would’ve been lying if I didn’t admit my curiosity.

“How’d you get inside my house?” I asked.

“I remembered what you told me about the spare key under the mat.”

“Leave!” I exclaimed.

“No. Not until I speak.”

I pointed a finger at him. “If you don’t leave, then I’m gonna call the cops on you and have you arrested for breaking and entering.”

His face drooped. “You’d do that to your boyfriend?”

I chuckled. “Boyfriend? Please. You only thought of me as a quick fuck.”  
“That’s not true, and you know it.”

I drew in a deeper breath. “I’m not the person you think I am.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I transferred to Liberty, and I’m gonna get revenge on everyone. Not because I care about you, but because it will fill the emptiness in my life.” I pulled out a small plastic bag from my pocket, then flashed it at Monty. “I’m planting this in Ani’s locker, then I’m gonna send an anonymous tip to the school to inform them she had cocaine.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your revenge—I just wanna be with you.”

“Empty words. Never cared about me. Why do you think you always fucked me face down ass up?” I licked my lips. “You couldn’t make eye contact with me. But don’t feel too bad. You meant nothing to me, Monty, because I was just using you for sex.”

“Just shut the fuck up, Winston!” Monty bellowed. “I wanna do your plan about bribing the DA so I can rebuild my life by starting a new one with you.”

My eyes bulged. “What’d you just say?”

“I want to be with you, and nothing is gonna stop me.” Monty’s eye contact lingered before he pulled me up against his body. His lips met mine in a matter of seconds and he gave a little tongue while his fingers remained glued to my cheeks, creating brief static. 

He pulled one hand away from my cheek, then fumbled with his belt and unzipped his pants. His boxers and jeans dropped to his ankles in a matter of seconds before he shoved my head to his waist. I lifted my gaze off his crotch, meeting his gaze. His eyes lit up, then my mouth and head bobbed faster and faster while Monty’s fingers dug into my scalp. 

Monty groaned and moaned, and one thought popped into my head while Monty’s grip on my head intensified. Complicated problems—like Monty rebuilding a life and starting a new one with me—sometimes had easy solutions. And said fact was great. The universe owed me one, and I collected. Although I could’ve done without Monty’s screaming—he couldn’t have been any louder if his life depended on it.


	9. CHAPTER 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where Chapter 8 left off. Winston reveals something to Monty, and also a couple of flashbacks in the chapter of Monty and Winston as well, and Winston helping Monty with his grief about Bryce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long delay. I had some vision issues, and had surgery in my left eye. Anyway, I hope to update more regularly now.

CHAPTER 9

MONTY’S POV

Winston and I continued lying in bed with the bed comforter wrapped around us. 

I leaned forward, stroking Winston’s hair to the side. 

Fuck. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. I found someone who accepted me, flaws and all. Winston was the one person who showed me kindness when nobody else would. And he didn’t have to, yet he did. And for that, I owed him everything. If I could ease the loneliness for even a second, then that was worth everything. One fleeting moment of happiness wasn’t too much to ask for after everything I went through.

Winston coughed, then made eye contact. “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For acting the way that I did. You didn’t deserve that,” Winston said. “I know you aren’t the same person from that night at the party.”

I squeezed Winston’s hand. “You don’t ever to have to apologize for anything.”

“I haven’t been honest with you.” Winston sucked on his teeth. “There’s something going on in my life that has nothing to do with anything I’ve mentioned to you.”

“Huh?” 

Winston sobbed. “I’ve never told anyone about this.”

My eyes widened. “You can tell me anything, babe.”

“Do you remember that assembly?” Winston asked. “The one with both of our schools?”

A lump lingered in my throat. Rape. It was the one thing I never wanted to think about again. I’d have to live with what I did to Tyler for the rest of my life. Nothing would change what I did, because Tyler would always have to suffer with the memory of what happened. My throat burned more. The worst part wasn’t even the rape. The most ironic thing was how Tyler also gave me kindness. He offered me the chance to apologize. But I didn’t take it. Instead, I was all cavalier towards him.

“I stood up at the assembly when all the survivors were speaking up,” Winston continued.

Survivor. Someone might as well have ripped my intestines out and wrapped them around my neck. I had feeling about where this conversation was headed, but I had to be wrong. I just had to be. The thought of Winston being the next Jessica, Tyler, Justin, etc. made me wanna scream. Fathoming how some sick fuck could harm someone as pure and sweet as Winston was beyond words. 

“Did Bryce or someone connected to him do something to you at Hillcrest?” I asked.

“No.”

I continued staring into Winston’s eyes, heart almost leaping out of my chest. Tears just trickled down Winston’s face.

“You can tell me anything—I won’t judge,” I said.

Winston clenched his fist. “I took piano lessons when between when I was between 9 and 12 years old.”

I nodded.

“My piano teacher would come over to my house a couple of times a week.” Winston sobbed louder. “My parents weren’t home most of the time. Not that I blamed them, or anything. On a superficial level, Peter was trustworthy.”

I remained silent. Important to let Winston tell his story.

“He started touching me in places he shouldn’t have within a couple of weeks of me beginning lessons.” Winston averted his gaze. “It escalated to him making me do the same to him.”

I blinked.

“That isn’t even the most fucked up part of it,” Winston said. “He started forcing himself on me in other ways.”

“How so?” I asked, tears dotting my eyes. 

If only someone would dump a bucket of ice of me and wake me up from this nightmare. Winston’s revelation couldn’t be true. Yet blinking wouldn’t change the current reality. His breathing had become so belabored, that his breath tickled my skin. 

“He started topping me.” Winston let out a breath. “All I wanted to do was scream or fight, tell him to stop. But I just couldn’t speak.”

My stomach sank. “I’m so sorry that happened.”

“And it went on for 3 years,” Winston blurted.

“How did it end?” I asked.

“I finally defended myself.” He wiped tears from his eyes. “Even pulled a knife on him. Told him the lessons were gonna stop immediately and that he’d better leave town. I later revealed to my parents I was no longer interested in the piano and took up photography.”

My lips quivered. “Okay to hug you?”

Asking permission to touch him wasn’t about being polite. Doing so was about demonstrating through action I wasn’t the person I once was. No way of knowing if touching Winston would make him uncomfortable. 

“Yes, please,” he whimpered.

Winston collapsed into my chest, and I rubbed his back. He sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed. 

The pattering of outside rain grew louder with each passing second, then my mind drifted. The dynamic had shifted…

***

Moonlight glinted from the sky while trees bobbed in the wind. 

It was the day Bryce’s disappearance was announced. I was also standing on Winston’s front porch. Told my father I’d be at Charlie’s. I just couldn’t help myself. Winston was the only person I wanted to see. Even if seeking him out meant taking a risk. Could always lie, and say he was my tutor if I crossed paths with his parents.

Winston stepped back the moment he approached the bottom step. 

“Don’t be afraid. I’m not gonna do anything to you,” I said.

“What’s up?”

“I’m worried about a friend, and wanted some company.”

He winked. “The trip my parents were on got extended. Wanna stay the night?”

I remained silent. My pulse should’ve pounded in my ear—I had a lot to sort out about my sexuality. Yet here I was. Intoxicated by Winston, comment about how I could be anything I wanted to be lingering on my mind. Still the kindest thing anyone ever said to me.

“Sure,” I said.

***

“Sorry about getting emotional,” Winston said, snapping me out of my digression.

Winston pulled away from me, then collapsed onto the pillow. 

“Don’t apologize for being human.” I stroked a lock of his hair to the side. 

“There’s more,” Winston revealed. “Peter might’ve left town, but he later did the same thing to several other kids.”

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“I kept tabs on him.”

“Okay?” I asked, sweat dripping down my back.

“He was reported, convicted, and sent to prison.” Winston bit his lip. “But he was paroled a few days ago.”

“Already?” 

Winston shrugged. “Don’t ask me to explain the justice system.”

“Are you afraid he’s gonna track you down?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

I scooted closer to Winston on the bed, then wrapped my arms around him. I even closed my eyes for a beat while the earthly and sweet scent of whatever cologne he used wafted through the air, and I inhaled the scent. 

“Hope you don’t mind this,” I said.

“No,” he whispered. 

“I’m never gonna let anything happen to you.”

“I still feel awful about being so harsh.”

My mind drifted back to the day I discovered Bryce died…

***

I sat in a stool in Winston’s kitchen. Hours had passed since Bryce’s death was announced at school, yet it might as well have been a lifetime ago. I couldn’t believe Bryce was dead, I just couldn’t. He still had his whole life ahead of himself regardless of how he was a shitty person.

Winston shifted his weight on the stool, then handed me the box of tissues. “Here.”

“Thanks.” I snatched the box from him in a matter of seconds while my sobs became louder and my tears grew more violent. I took a tissue, but didn’t blow my nose. Instead, I crumbled the Kleenex. It then fell onto the ground.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this, Monty.” Winston rolled up his sleeves. “And please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

My gaze shifted to the plate on the kitchen. More specifically, the baked ziti. I hadn’t had one bite, and it was probably cold by now.

Winston met my gaze. “Just reheated leftovers. No big deal.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

What a great guy. Winston didn’t have to give me the benefit of the doubt, yet he did. Like he also did that night last week in the parking lot. Not eating reheated food wasn’t a big deal in light of all the other problems in the world. But my father would’ve beat the fucking shit out of me, if it was him sitting next to me instead of Winston.

I screamed even louder this time. “Just not fair. I was hoping I could make things right with Bryce.”

“I know, I know.”

“And now the universe took something else from me.”

Winston got up, then stood behind me before patting my back. I collapsed backward against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me in a matter of seconds.

“Our relationship might be unconventional, but please don’t shut me out.” Winston continued holding me. “Even if you just want someone to stand next to you while you cry or punch into a pillow. It’ll be our secret.”

More tears burned in my eyes. 

“You don’t ever have to pretend with me, Monty.” Winston released me, then kissed my forehead.

I could’ve pushed him away, yet I didn’t. Sometimes, the most intimate gestures were the least sexual. In my case, that meant a forehead kiss. I didn’t need Winston to kiss me on the lips for me to know he supported me. 

***

“Did you hear what I said?” Winston asked.

“Anyone would be freaked out in your position. Not like you punched me or anything.” I gave him a quick peck on the back of his head while my arms remained wrapped him tighter. Nothing too intense. Just an extra squeeze to let Winston—the guy I loved—know he wasn’t alone. Like he had the night I vented to him about Bryce. 

We might not have known what would happen in the morning, but we had this moment, this night together. And that was something not even my fucking father could steal from me. Winston was my everything. Now. And forever.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up the next morning from Chapter 9.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

CHAPTER 10

MONTY’S POV

Sunlight beamed through Winston’s bedroom curtains while my arms remained wrapped around his torso and the bed comforter covered us from the neck down. 

My mind raced while my pulse drummed in my ears. I couldn’t believe what Winston revealed last night about him being sexually abused as a kid. The anger just couldn’t stop pulsing through my veins. The thought of anyone hurting someone as sweet and innocent as Winston was an abomination. He was the purest thing in the world, after all. In fact, Winston probably wasn’t even capable of hurting a fly.

“Morning,” Winston mumbled.

“Morning, babe,” I said.

Winston rolled onto his back after I released my grip. 

I bit my lip. The room might as well have been spinning while my current thought lingered in my mind. Hopefully, Winston would indulge my request. It wasn’t like I wanted a kidney from him. I just wanted to do something. Something that showed I cared about him.

Winston chuckled. “What’s up?”

“I had an idea, babe.”

“And what’s that?”

“Ditch school today.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Why?”

“I want one more day to ourselves before we make the deal with the DA and I return to the land of the living.”

His Adam’s apple throbbed. “I see…”

“I’m sorry. Am I being selfish?”

“No. It’s fine, because I still have several allotted absences left.”

I nodded. “Cool.”

Winston remained silent while his grin expanded. Damn. Winston was fucking adorable. I just loved how he always smirked around me. Good to know I made someone happy.

“There’s one more thing,” I stammered.

“Okay…”

“I also think you need a day off after last night.”

Winston averted his gaze, cheeks turning bright red. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

Shock filled my insides. Somehow, Winston hadn’t fought me with that point. And said fact was amazing. I didn’t want to argue with Winston. Not now. Not ever.

“What about your ride?” Winston asked. “You know. The one connected to your mafia pals.”

“I already dismissed him.”

“Wow. I’m impressed.” Winston chuckled louder than I ever heard him laugh before.

My eyebrows knitted together. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.”

I scooted closer to Winston. “Even I’m not that gullible.”

“I can’t help thinking about the time between during Homecoming and your arrest when I asked you out.”

A bird resting on a tree branch outside the bedroom window cawed, then I cocked my head. Didn’t care if the idea sounded cliché, because it was true. The day Winston asked me out on a date really did feel like yesterday.

***

Winston and I were in his bed sometime between Homecoming and my arrest. We just had sex, yet Winston wasn’t catching his breath. Instead, his jaw kept trembling.

I laughed. “That was amazing.”

“Yeah.”

“Something wrong, babe?” I asked.

“I wanted to ask you something, but I don’t want you to get angry.”

I stroked a lock of his hair out of the way, yet Winston flinched. My throat burned. I hoped Winston wasn’t afraid of me. He couldn’t be. I was glad to be with him in addition to how he made me be a better person.

Check that. Winston didn’t wanna make me a better person. Hanging out with Winston just meant keeping better company as opposed to Bryce, the sports teams, and my father.

“Forget it.” Winston looked away. “You’d just say no.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I was wondering if you’d wanna go out on a real date.”

My heart fluttered. Date. I couldn’t deny how the term was loaded. Especially for someone who was still in the closet. Yet Winston’s request didn’t make me wanna punch anyone. It just made more fear tremble through my body. Perhaps because Winston was the realest thing in my life.

“I’m sorry—the idea was stupid,” Winston continued, voice cracking. “You probably are gonna beat the shit out of me now.”

Mt stomach sank. Having a public outing with Winston meant someone discovering my secret, yet Winston deserved better. He deserved to live his life in the real world and not in his bedroom. If he wanted to flaunt his boyfriend for everyone to see, then he deserved that. And it fucking killed me I couldn’t give that to Winston.

“Can I give you a ride back home?” Winston asked. 

“You know how I feel about you…”

“But you aren’t ‘fucking gay.’ And we’ll never have a real relationship.”

“Sorry,” I whispered, tears pricking my eyes. “But I can’t be a faggot. There’s nothing wrong with you being gay. But it’s just not for me.”

“What about coffee?” he asked.

“People would see us at Monet’s.”

Winston huffed out a sigh. “I’m not talking about Monet’s.”

“Then what?” 

“There’s a coffee shop a couple of miles from Hillcrest. Nobody from Liberty will see us.” Winston hung his head, possibly in shame or fear.

I didn’t have to think about my answer. If Winston could give me a second chance, then I could go for coffee with him. He was so sweet and innocent, so I couldn’t deny him this. Not now.

Winston and I strutted into the coffee shop half an hour later and found out a table in back. A waitress came over to take our orders, and an awkward silence ensued while I drummed my fingers against a wooden table.

“Thanks again for agreeing to doing this,” Winston finally said.

I couldn’t help but have sympathy pangs for Winston. He shouldn’t have thanked me for spending time with him. And my reasoning wasn’t even because the coffee shop was practically empty. Winston was just fun, because he was the first person who ever gave me unconditional love and support. 

My elbows slid onto the table. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Winston.”

“I know you don’t really wanna be here.”

A lump lingered in my throat while I did something all too familiar. Fight back the tears. Winston might have been a great guy, but he was wrong. I did wanna be here with him. For Winston, he was worth the risk. I also couldn’t help having more empathy with Winston. He couldn’t have low self-esteem. Not even for a second.

The waitress shuffled to our table, and placed our hot chocolates on the table. “Can I get you anything else?” she asked.

Winston’s stomach grumbled. Yet he didn’t speak.

I lifted my gaze off my mug, then made eye contact with Winston. “Would you wanna split a chocolate chip cookie? They’re really big and I don’t think I’d be able to finish it myself.”

Winston’s face lit up. “Sure. That’d be great.”

I tilted my head towards the waitress. “We’ll take a chocolate chip cookie.”

“Sure thing.” The waitress left as soon as she appeared.

Winston winked. “How sweet. You remembered chocolate chip is my favorite cookie.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. It was only a suggestion.”

Winston snickered. “You can put on a façade all you want, but I know you were trying to make an effort.”

“Nah.”

He cupped my chin. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone the big, bad, mean jock has a heart.”

I laughed. “Thanks.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to touch you in public.”

My pulse sped up. For a fleeting moment, I had been having so much fun with Winston that I hadn’t cared about someone thinking I was a faggot. Wow. Hell must’ve froze over.

I pushed the plate towards Winston sometime later. “You can have the last bite.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah.”

Winston snatched the cookie, then devoured it in a matter of seconds. My eyes remained glued to Winston, and I almost laughed again. He had whipped cream on his lips. So, I grabbed a napkin from the metal dispenser on the middle of the table. And in one, swift motion, I wiped the whipped cream from his lip.

“What was that about?” Winston asked.

“You might’ve enjoyed your hot chocolate a little too much.”

“Whatever.”

The waitress returned a couple of minutes later, then placed the leather bill holder on the table. “Pay when you’re ready,” she said. “No rush.”

The waitress was soon gone.

I grabbed the leather bill holder before Winston could blink.

“What are you doing?” Winston asked.

“My treat.”

Winston took his American Express card out from his leather wallet. “The date was my idea. I should treat.”

“I can afford two hot chocolates, a cookie, and a tip.”

“I didn’t mean to suggest that. I’d just feel better paying.”

“My money no good?” I asked, stuttering.

“You aren’t listening, Monty…”

Winston and I just continued looking each other in the eye. Hopefully, we wouldn’t bicker. We couldn’t. It wasn’t that I wanted to fight. I just wanted to do something for the guy I loved. Just because I couldn’t hold his hand in public didn’t mean I didn’t care.

Winston gave me a mock frown. “If it means that much to you, then please. By all means. You can pay the bill.”

The bell on the door chimed a few minutes later after Winston and I left the coffee shop. Then, Winston’s teeth chattered and he shivered. In fact, it was so cold out that you could see his breath. 

“Don’t know what the fuck you were thinking wearing a T-shirt and jeans,” I said while we continued walking down the block. “It’s only twenty degrees.”

“Fine. Tease me all you want.”

I halted. “Winston, wait.”

His gaze narrowed. “What?” 

I took off my varsity jacket, but I didn’t just toss it to Winston. Instead, I stood behind him while helping him slip into the jacket. 

“That makes two secrets I have to keep because of tonight,” Winston said.

“The fuck you talking about?”

“I won’t tell anyone you’re a gentleman.”

I shook my head. “I’m not a gentleman. I’m being selfish. If you get sick because of not being dressed properly, then I’ll miss out on having a fuck buddy for several days.”

He snorted. “Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“I see you, Monty. I see you.”

“Don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” I said.

“I’m the one person who you can be your real self around, and you secretly love that fact.”

I grunted. “Fine. You might have a point.”

***  
Winston’s snickering snapped me out of my reminiscing while we continued sitting up in bed.

“What the fuck is so funny?” I asked.

“I still can’t believe you paid for our date and you let me wear your varsity jacket.”

I rolled my eyes. “It wasn’t a date.”

“Whatever you say.”

“You better not let it go to your head,” I said.

Winston nibbled on the inside of his lip. “If I spend the day with you, then I want you to agree to something.”

“What?”

“I wanna get revenge against Ani and the others. They deserve to pay after what they did. I’m sorry, but I can’t just let them get away with everything. If you really love me, then you won’t judge me for wanting revenge.”

I should’ve pouted, yet I couldn’t argue with what Winston said. All of those self-righteous hypocrites got a second chance after Hannah killed herself, but they still continued fucking up their lives after getting said second chance. Give me a fucking break. I deserved to be happy with Winston. And nobody was gonna stop me.

“What’d you have in mind?” I asked.

“I meant what I said about my early comment.”

“Refresh my memory.”

“The one about planting drugs in Ani’s locker and then gaslighting Ani by drugging her with sedates so she starts blacking and losing time.” Winston paused for a moment. “People would think Ani was crazy in no time, and her mother would have her committed to an institution.”

“Fine,” I said. “If this means that much to you, then I’m not gonna stop you from getting your revenge of the century.”

“Thanks.”

“Now I have a very important thing to discuss with you.”

He winked. “And what’s that?”

“We gotta decide what we’re gonna do with our day off.”


	11. CHAPTER 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up the following day after Winston skips school to be with Monty. Winston and Monty have a meeting with the District Attorney.

CHAPTER 11

MONTY’S POV

Wind whipped through the air while I stood in front of the building with Winston the following day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, yet my teeth chattered so loudly that I was pretty sure people could hear me on the other side of the world. Although I was more concerned about how my pulse hadn’t stop hammering in my ears. Winston and I should’ve gone inside the building already, yet I can’t move. I couldn’t risk the rejection of the District Attorney not agreeing to Winston’s bribe. I suffered enough sorrow because of my father’s physical abuse and all of my internalized homophobia. 

Shit. If only I met Winston earlier in life. With him, he didn’t tell me I needed to be a better/different person. I was just able to figure that out all on my own as a result of having him in my life.

Winston cocked his head. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I can’t do this,” I stammered.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t wanna lose you again.”

Winston looped his hands around my neck, yet I didn’t shove him off me. I couldn’t. Not after everything that transpired between us. “You won’t,” he said.

In one swift motion, I pulled Winston against my body. Then, I kissed him. I even closed my eyes. Fuck. I didn’t even care if my father saw me making out with Winston. He was still my everything. Now and forever.

***

Mike Sanders—the District Attorney—rubbed his mustache sometime later while he sat in his leather chair behind his desk while Winston and I sat in chairs in front of his desk. 

Winston glared. “Well?”

“Bribery is a crime,” DA Mike said, adjusting his blazer.

Winston leaned forward. “What happened to Monty is an abomination—his abuse was an open secret, but nobody did anything.”

DA Mike rolled his eyes. “That’s not my fault.”

“You should be glad I’m offering you $10 million for your reelection campaign,” Winston said.

“Sexual assault is still a crime,” DA Mike said.

Winston grunted. “He made a mistake, and is sorry. Aren’t you, Monty?”

I didn’t even blink. “Yes.”

My throat burned. I meant what I said despite how I couldn’t undo my past. I should never have done what I did to Tyler, and I wished to God that moment never happened. If only I hadn’t learned the same behavior from my father when he sexually assaulted me. 

“What about the boy?” DA Mike asked.

“Huh?” Winston asked.

“Tyler,” DA Mike said.

“I’ll take care of that,” Winston said.

DA Mike huffed out another sigh before rubbing his gray mustache again. “Fine. The Evergreen County District Attorney’s office won’t prosecute Monty for Tyler’s sexual assault or for escaping prison.”

“And Monty’s ‘friends’?” Winston asked.

“I have no desire to go up against the mafia,” DA Mike said. “I’ll accept the explanation that Mr. De la Cruz escaped during a prison riot, and has been living in the shadows since.”

“Anyway, we’re gonna need you to drop the charges ASAP,” Winston said. “I mean, Monty didn’t even get arraigned, so it can’t be too difficult.”

“I still need a reason to drop the charges,” DA Mike said.

Winston fidgeted in his chair. “Insufficient evidence. Monty never confessed to the police and Tyler never even went to the hospital. As far as your concerned, Monty is innocent.”

DA Mike shifted his gaze towards me. “Are you innocent?”

“Yes,” I mumbled.

That lie was gonna be the last one I told. I wouldn’t pressure Tyler to be my friend—that’d be disgusting and unfair. But somehow, I’d make things right. I just had to. I couldn’t be haunted by one lapse in judgment for the rest of my life.

“Well?” Winston asked.

“Fine. We have a deal,” DA Mike said.

Winston pushed the briefcase full of money across the mahogany desk, and I licked my lips. I shouldn’t have wanted Winston to bend over and lean against the desk, yet I couldn’t help myself. There was something sexy about someone as shy and sweet as Winston occasionally asserting himself.

***

My hands remained wrapped around Winston’s while my grunting grew louder and louder as we were in his bed the following evening. Sweat even tumbled down my face before I rolled onto my back a minute later.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed.

Winston snickered. “That never gets old.”

I scooted closer towards Winston, then looked him in the eye. “Thanks again for yesterday and today.”

“No problem.”

“You didn’t just bribe the DA, you also blackmailed the super intendent and principal to let me back in school.”

Winston’s cheeks flushed. “No big deal.”

I nudged him. “I’m serious, Winston. Nobody has ever fought for me like that before.”

Tears welled in my eyes while I bit my lip. I just couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have Winston. I had gone from being the guy who was emotionally dead on the inside to the guy who felt alive—almost as if anything was possible. And all of that was thanks to some skinny, scrawny, white guy. No offense to Winston, or anything. I love him with all my heart, but I couldn’t deny how we were polar opposites. And that was why we worked well together. Our opposing qualities made us fit better than puzzle pieces.

Winston wiped a tear from my cheek. “Don’t cry, babe.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I want you to know I’ll support you when you return to school tomorrow.”

I forced a laugh. “I know.”

“I’m serious. You won’t be alone.”

“I know.”

The doorbell rang, and I jumped out of bed.

“Where you going?” Winston asked. “I said I’d pay for the pizza.”

I finished sliding into my sweatpants before grabbing my wallet, which was on the table by the bed. “My mafia buddies did give me some cash,” I said.

Winston narrowed his gaze. “So?”

“Let me do this, babe,” I said. “You’ve done so much for me, so covering dinner is the least I can do.”

Winston gave me a mock frown. “Fine. Just this once.”

The doorbell rang several more times.

“I’ll be right back.” I gave him a quick peck on the lips before racing down the stairs and to the front door.

My stomach twisted in ten different directions after I opened the front door. I would’ve apologized for the delay, but I couldn’t. Not when the person standing on the front door wasn’t the pizza guy. 

I gasped. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hello, faggot. We’ve got a lot to discuss,” Dad said.

Yeah. My fucking loser father stood by Winston’s front door while my heart skipped more beats. I couldn’t have traded one nightmare (my legal problems) for another (my father’s impromptu appearance). I was finally getting my life back. So, I couldn’t fucking lose everything. Not now. So, yeah. There was a good chance my father was gonna fucking die tonight. Protecting my relationship with Winston was the only thing that fucking mattered.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

MONTY

My chest tightened while I continued standing by Winston’s front door. Blinking didn’t help because Dad was still there when I opened my eyes.

“Gonna let me inside, or what?” Dad asked, slurring his words. 

Great. As if my father’s presence wasn’t bad enough. I had to deal with the possibility of him being drunk.

I gave him a dirty look. “The fuck you want?”

“That anyway to talk to your father?”

“If you don’t leave, then I’m gonna call the police,” I stammered.

Dad snorted. “You’re too much of a pussy, ass, bitch, faggot to stand up for yourself.”

“What’s going on?” called out a voice.

I cocked my head. Winston stood a few feet away from me at the bottom of the steps leading to upstairs. 

“Nothing,” I said.

Winston bit his lip. “Something wrong with the order?”

I forced a smile. “Please go back upstairs, babe.”

Babe. It was one simple word, yet it had a huge impact. I had no qualms about using it in front of my father. He needed to know I wasn’t some scared, pathetic little boy. And I’d fucking kill him if he harmed one hair on Winston’s head.

Dad shoved me aside, then walked inside. The door slammed behind him. He was now staring Winston in the eye. 

Dad turned back to me. “I wanted so much better for you then to be some loser faggot. But I guess it’s my fault. I should’ve been tougher on you. Then, you could’ve been a real man.”

I screamed at Dad. “Don’t you dare speak to Winston like that. He’s my boyfriend, and I’m in love with him.”

“Fucking wimp,” Dad said.

Winston sighed. “Who is this man, Monty?”

A lump lingered in my throat. “My father.”

“I’ll be right back, Monty,” Winston said. “And I want you to know everything is gonna be okay.”

Winston barreled up the stairs and was soon out of sight.

My pulse hammered in my ears while each breath required more effort than the previous one. Dad hadn’t stopped giving me a death glare. I was kind of surprised he wasn’t doing worse, though. He attacked me unprovoked on numerous occasions, after all.

Footsteps shuffled against the ground, growing louder with each passing second. Winston just descended the stairs. Winston’s hands also remained behind his back.

“What are you doing back here?” I asked. “You should return to your bedroom and lock the door. Don’t come out until my father has gone.”

“This ends today!” Winston removed his hands from behind his back. Then, he put his hands on the trigger, aiming the gun at Dad. 

Dad snickered. “I bet your lame, faggot ass doesn’t have the balls to shoot me.”

“I’m rich,” Winston said, fingers remaining on the trigger. “I could shoot you in cold blood and get away with it. I wouldn’t even have to go with self-defense. It could be jury nullification.”

“Please,” Dad said.

“If you don’t leave my house in the next five seconds, then I’ll blow your brains out,” Winston said.

“Fine. But this isn’t over.” Dad left the house without another word, once again slamming the door behind him. 

Relief flooded my body regardless how obvious the reaction was. I couldn’t believe it. Winston actually stood up to my father. Although I wanted to kick myself. I couldn’t help feeling like a coward. I should’ve stood up to my father, not Winston. Then again, the important thing was that Dad was gone. For now, at least.

***

Winston and I were in his bed sometime later.

My arms were wrapped around him, and I was the big spoon. And I couldn’t let Winston go. I just couldn’t. I didn’t know what I’d do if anything happened to him. Winston was my everything, now and forever.

Winston chuckled.   
“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“The pizza never showed up,” Winston said.

“Yeah, that’s strange.” It was my turn to laugh now. “Where’d you get the gun?”

“From the safe in my parents’ bedroom. They let me have access it since they’re away so much.” 

“Seeing you hold a gun was kind of hot,” I said.

“Well, my heart was racing,” Winston said, practically stuttering.

“I can imagine.” I inhaled the earthly and sweet scent of whatever cologne Winston sported. I couldn’t get enough of him. He really did smell fucking fantastic. “Were you really gonna shoot my father if he hadn’t left?”

“I’d do anything for you, Monty,” he whispered.

I almost choked up. Ear wax must’ve been stuck in my ears. I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to have Winston in my life.

“You’d even risk going to prison for me?” I asked.

“Yes.”

***

Winston and I walked down the school hallway the following morning, holding hands. 

I didn’t have access to a mirror. But if I did, then I was pretty sure I’d see the glee radiating from my face. I had never been so happy before. No stupid, homophobic father. No stupid masculine, jock culture. I was holding hands with my boyfriend like a normal teenager would do. 

I hadn’t planned on halting halfway down the hallway, though. Justin, Jessica, Alex, Tyler, Zach, Charlie, Tony, and Ani stood next to Clay by Clay’s locker.

“What the fuck?” Ani said. 

Winston squeezed my hand, then his eyes widened at Ani. “Surprise, bitch!”

Jessica blinked. “How are you alive?”

“It’s quite an interesting story,” Winston said.

“Monty should be in jail,” Charlie said.

Winston cackled. “Please.”

Ani scratched the side of her head. “Monty must’ve been the person you were meeting up with all this time.”

“We should get the principal,” Charlie said.

“No need. He knows about Monty’s return to school.” Winston sucked in a deep breath. “And I’d be very, very careful about the next words out of your mouth.”

“Huh?” Clay said.

“I know how you all framed Monty for Bryce’s murder,” Winston said.

Ani’s jaw trembled. “Winston, please!”

Winston squealed at everyone. “But that’s only the beginning. I know about Tyler stalking and taking pictures of underage girls—that’s called voyeurism, trespassing, and child pornography. Then, there’s the whole Tyler almost being a school shooter thing, which you all covered up. And we can’t forget about Justin letting Bryce rape Jessica at that party. Ani was also sleeping with a serial rapist. And Alex killed Bryce in cold blood while Jessica watched. Plus, you all contributed to Hannah’s suicide, yet got second chances.”

“If you two are angry about something, then we can discuss it,” Ani said.

“I almost forgot about the biggest sin of all,” Winston barked. “You all go around acting like noble heroes, but you are all self-righteous hypocrites as a result of the things you’ve done. Yet you think you’re better than Monty.”

Charlie folded his arms, wrinkling his sweater. “What’s your point?”

“Monty and I will be coming for you when you least expect it,” Winston said.  
The warning bell screeched.

“Game on, bitches,” Winston said.

Winston tugged at my arm, then we darted down the hallway. 

A thousand thoughts must’ve currently swirled through my head. Yet none of them mattered. Not when Winston supported me. With Winston, anything was possible.


End file.
